


Hope, Love, and Glory

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Fili wants the D, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Thorin is psychorigid, and terrible at romance, dwarves are blind to other's romances, past relationship, secret romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-04 21:50:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 37,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Fili met Dwalin was two years before the start of their quest for Erebor, and he has wanted him ever since. He is fairly sure the feeling is mutual, but something happened in Dwalin's past, and he refuses to get close to the prince.<br/>And then, because life just isn't complicated enough, Fili also has to deal with the romances of his uncle (a blind idiot who think shouting at people make them love you) and brother (a secret engagement, really?).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. a night in prison

**Author's Note:**

> Whaaaat, another new fic?  
> Well, good news, I already have a few chapters on that one! :D The thing basically writes itself, honestly.

The first time Fili met Dwalin, he had run away from home after yet another argument with his mother and his uncle. It was nothing out of the ordinary. Well, the running away part was, of course, but not the arguing thing. Both adults claimed that, even if they were of age, neither he nor Kili should be allowed to join a quest to Erebor, should their uncle decide that the time for it had come. They always treated him as a child, the two of them, so he had left home in the middle of a night with a bag and three golden coins to prove how mature he was.

There were a few flaws in that logic, but he was sure he could make it work in the end.

And things hadn't been so bad, at first. He'd made it to a small town, two valleys away from were he lived, and he had found himself a nice inn to stay until he could get a job. That was when things had started going bad, of course. A group of idiots had noticed him, and decided that he looked too rich for his own good, so they had found an excuse to start a fight.

A fight which Fili would have won, if a bunch of guards had not arrived and arrested them all. It had made the young prince furious at first, until he had noticed that the guards' captain was far from ugly and, well, a cell wasn't the best of places to flirt, but it still was worth a try. So he had complimented him on his tattoos, because that was always a good start.

"Friend of mine made them," the other dwarf grunted. "Can give you his address, if ye want, laddie. But ye're probably 'bit young for that."

"I'll have you know I am in my eighties, so I am of age to do anything I wish with my body, thank you very much."

That made the older dwarf grin for a second, though he quickly hid it. Fili found it encouraging.

"What's yer name then, laddie?"

"I am Fili, son of Gili."

Technically, since his mother was a princess and thus of higher rank, he should have introduced himself as Fili son of Dis. Or since he was his uncle's heir, as Fili, son of Thorin. But then the other dwarf would have known who he was, and Fili had noticed that some people were a good deal more reluctant to have fun with him after they learned he was royalty.

"And I am Dwalin, son of Fundin. Ye're not from 'round here, kid. What brought you in that inn? Ye look far too fine and noble fer a place like that."

"I am taking my life in my own hands, master Dwalin. I have spent my entire existence in my uncle's shadow, and I felt it was time I proved I was as good as him, if not better."

"And ye're doing that by getting into a fight on yer first night. Smart. Yer uncle's gonna be mighty impressed, laddie."

Fili had just smiled, and leaned against the bars of his cell in what he hoped to be a seductive manner.

"Call me Fili, please. And I'm not doing any of this for my uncle, I'm doing this because I want to live _my_ life, not _his_. So far, I'd say I'm doing rather well. He's far too proper to ever get in a fight, and he'd never try to chat up a dwarf he's just met."

Dwalin laughed. "Is that what ye're doing, then?"

"I'll stop if that's a problem, of course, but yes, that's what I'm doing."

"That's fine by me, laddie," the older dwarf assured him, walking closer until the only thing between them were the bars of the cell. "Not the best time fer ye to do that, but ye'll be free come morning, and so will I. I know a place or two were we can grab some breakfast, if ye want."

"There's nothing I'd like better than that."

The spent the rest of the night talking and laughing, and Fili found himself thinking that maybe he would really stay in this town. It was a nice enough place, as far as he could tell, and he liked Dwalin. Well, it was probably a bit early to say that of course, since they had known each other for no more than a couple hours, but Fili was sure that he could start liking him very fast, at least.

When dawn arrived, Dwalin let him out as he had promised, and they left together, still chatting and joking as if they had known each other their whole life.

So of course his uncle and mother had to arrive then, and ruin it all.

How had they known he was in this town, he didn't not know (Kili had told them) and neither did he know how they had guessed he'd been arrested (the innkeeper had told them) but they certainly looked awfully angry and worried. Good for them, Fili thought.

A part of the prince's brain registered then that Dwalin was tensing next to him, and had removed his hand from his shoulder, but he didn't do much with this information because his mother chose that moment to slap him.

"What were you _thinking_!" Dis snarled. "Going away like that! We were worried to death, Fili! All the things that could have happened to you!"

"I can fend for myself, mother! And I was managing it fairly well too, mister Dwalin here can attest to it!"

Dis took a step back at that, noticing the huge guard for the first time. She gasped, and turned quickly to Thorin, who look more angry than Fili had ever seen him. And that was something, really, since his uncle's only mood was _murderous_.

"It has been a while, mister Dwalin," Dis finally said, her voice uncertain. "I... I see the years have been... kind to you. Balin... Balin had told us you had found a position, but I did not expect..."

"Did you arrest my _nephew_?" Thorin growled at Dwalin, looking the very picture of offended pride. "Did you really dare to arrest _a prince of Erebor_?"

"Didn't know he was yers," Dwalin coldy answered. "Maker knows he doesn't look much like ye. More like Gili. Didn't make the link. Hadn't realized the boys'd be that old now."

Fili frowned at that. "Do you know each other?"

"Yes," Dwalin said just as Thorin answered "Not really", earning himself a scowl from his sister.

"Dwalin was... a family friend," Dis explained. "He's Balin's younger brother. It... has been many years since we saw him. We sort of lost track of him after Azanulbizar. A very _sad_ state of affaire, but that happens, of course."

Thorin grunted something then, and in answer Dis stepped on his foot, but said nothing, only making a slight motion of her head toward Fili, as if to silently say that they were not supposed to talk of some things in front of him.

"This is all in the past," Dis declared. "And we can't change the past, can we? But what we can do is take you back home, and have a long and serious conversation with you lad."

"I am an adult, you know."

"An adult who will be in big trouble if he doesn't obey right now. You pony is waiting at the inn. We're going home."

Fili sighed, and shot a smile at Dwalin, who for the first time in the few hours they'd known each other didn't smile back.

"I hope we'll meet again," Fili said anyway, still hoping that being a prince hadn't ruined all his chances there.

"I doubt you'll ever see him again," Thorin said behind him. "I would not advise it. Dwalin certainly isn't _fit_ for a prince of Erebor."

"Not sure I'd want a prince of Erebor," Dwalin replied dryly, glaring at Thorin. "Not sure anyone would want one. The line is cursed, they say. Good luck to anyone stupid enough to mingle with them. Was fun talking to ye, _princeling_ , but the king's right. I doubt I'll ever see ye again. Good day."

The warrior bowed once to Fili then, and another time to Dis, but all Thorin received was a hard glare, and then Dwalin was gone. Which was strange, all things considered, but when Fili opened his mouth to ask what it all was about, his mother grabbed his arm and shook his head, and so he kept silent.

Later, when they had a few minutes without Thorin, Dis ordered him to stay away from Dwalin, stating that nothing good could come of it.

Fili obeyed.

He didn't see Dwalin again for almost two years, though he still thought of him sometimes, and of the jokes they had exchanged that night. It had felt like they had been meant to meet (though he didn't believe in True Love and such nonsense, that was more Kili's thing, really). He couldn't help from wanting to see the older dwarf again.

But when he finally did, it was in the Shire, in the home of a hobbit, and Dwalin acted like they had never met before.


	2. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili isn't jealous. Thorin doesn't have a crush. Dwalin deals with unnecessary guilt.

"I can't see why Dwalin is courting Ori," Fili grumbled suddenly, watching the two dwarves talking merrily, on the other side of the fire.

He had been in a dreadful mood since they had left Mr Baggins' home. At the party there, he had had too much fun and alcohol to care about anything, but now that he was sober, things were different. He had tried to ignore Dwalin at first (after all, the other dwarf had no problem ignoring _him_ ) but instead he had found himself constantly observing him, noticing his behaviour toward everyone.

Only to conclude that the warrior was relatively friendly to everyone, except Thorin and himself. He did seem to have a special fondness for Kili and Ori, though. The young scholar, in particular, was almost always stuck with Dwalin, and it seemed to make the two of them very happy, much to Fili's annoyance.

"Dwalin isn't courting Ori," Kili laughed forcibly.

"Of course he is. Just _look_ at them. It's obvious. I'm sure Balin and the wizard have made bets on them."

"Well, they're going to lose then, because Dwalin _isn't_ courting Ori," Kili insisted, though he threw the other two dwarves a worried look. "They are friends, nothing more."

"How do you know?"

"I know, that's all. Why do you care anyway? Ori's love life never interested you before."

Fili shrugged. "That's because he never had a love life before, really. How could he, with his brothers? Mahal, do you remember that time when they thought you were courting him, just because you'd agreed to help him with his drawings? They'd have skinned you alive if uncle hadn't helped.”

Kili cringed and blushed. “I'd rather not talk about it, really. Getting caught naked by Dori was honestly one of the worst experiences of my life.”

“I still don't know why you did that, honestly. Friendship is a very nice thing, but that was going a bit far. Getting naked so he could practice dwarvish anatomy...”

“I'll bet anything you want that you will soon be doing far more ridiculous things to get close to Dwalin.”

“That's different,” Fili protested. “I want to get Dwalin in my _bed_ , for one thing. Well, I wanted to. Won't happen now, since he's got his eyes on that idiot in a cardigan. Though I don't see why. Ori is barely a dwarf at all, with all the writing and drawing he does!”

For some reason, that made Kili angry, and without any warning he stood up and walked to join the other two. Surrounded by traitors, Fili thought as he looked at the three of them, laughing and joking. But Dwalin did have a nice smile, really, so there was always that.

 

* * *

 

It wasn't as if Dwalin was Fili's only problem, of course (though he was, and by far, the most handsome and interesting one). There was also the matter of their little burglar.

They had been forced by their wizard to take the little thing with them, simply because Gandalf the Grey felt that his small friend needed to get out of the house a bit more. Well, thank the Maker, the little one was a rather nice fellow, if a tiny bit whiny.

And he was in complete awe of Thorin, which never hurt of course, though the king didn't seem to notice it. That was Thorin for you, Fili thought. So obsessed with his problems that when something _nice_ happened, for a change, he just wouldn't see it because he was too busy brooding and looking dramatic.

Well, if nothing else, it made for a nice subject of conversation with the others. With Dwalin, for example, since he just happened to be near Fili, cleaning his axes, when the prince first realized how taken their hobbit was with his uncle.

“Oh, the old idiot saw it, trust me,” Dwalin answered, looking grim, as he always did when Fili approached him. “He saw it and he _enjoys_ it, or he wouldn't be so harsh to the little one. But the hobbit won't wait for ever, and there's another who's already trying his luck there.”

“The hobbit has a suitor?”

“Or he soon will, trust me. Bofur looks at him like he's a pile of gold.”

Fili glanced at the toy-maker, and laughed. “He looks at the hobbit like the hobbit looks at Thorin! Well, I can feel some heartbreaks coming! Though I maintain that our burglar has his chance with uncle, if he can just find a way to impress him. Thorin likes them a tiny bit fragile, with a hidden fierceness.”

“Does he, now.”

Fili nodded, and took a step closer to the warrior. If he was asked, he would always say it was for the sake of discretion. But Dwalin didn't ask, and even seemed to lean his way, almost imperceptibly.

“That's what mom always said,” Fili confided. “Not that she'd tell us about uncle's lack of love life, thank the Maker, but I've heard her tell that to Balin, once. Speaking of which, if I may ask, how come uncle and you are no longer in speaking term?”

“Ye may ask, laddie, and I may chose not to answer. Don't ye have business of yer own to attend?”

 _You mean, like trying to find out why the dwarf with whom I spent one of the most interesting nights of my life even though we never got naked now treats me like I'm no better than troll shit?_ Fili thought angrily. Not that he would ever have dared to voice such a thing. Not yet, at least.

“I'm just curious, is all,” he said instead. “I wonder what can make you hate him so much that you end up hating me too.”

“I don't hate ye,” Dwalin grumbled.

“You're good at making it look so, then. Yet the most surprising is that you two hate each other, but he still trusts you, when he's not one to trust anyone, except Balin maybe, and that's because Balin has been around since Erebor.”

There was a moment of silence between them after that, the only sounds around being the hobbit complaining to Bofur somewhere, and Dwalin's sharpening stone on his axe. Fili feared that he had gone too far, and was about to leave him alone, when the older dwarf spoke again.

“I was with him in Erebor too,” Dwalin claimed. “And I followed him faithfully in all he did, obeying him in all he asked, until Azanulbizar. I failed him there. He has asked me to protect his brother Frerin, and I failed him. Things never were the same after that, and he sent me away.”

“He's an idiot then. With all the things that happened that day, and all the good dwarves that fell, it's rather unfair to blame you for the death of just one!”

Dwalin gave him a strange stare.

“Tell me, young prince,” he said in a slow voice, “do you know that because I failed to be there, it is your father that ended up protecting Frerin, and that they both died for it? You are an orphan by my fault.”

“Unless you are secretly an orc in disguise, their death is no fault of yours. And they _chose_ to go into battle. My father in particular could have been excused, having a son to care for and a second child coming on the way. I'd blame him more than you in what happened. Balin told us that the battle was such a terrible one that no one cared anymore for promises of protection and such things. So if my uncle blamed you, he's an ass.”

“I have your forgiveness, then?”

Fili opened his mouth, ready to joke that there was nothing to forgive, and that he'd rather have Dwalin, whom he knew a little and who had proved his value as a dwarf, over a father he had no memory of but who had abandoned them for glory, leaving his pregnant mother to fend for herself. But Dwalin did not seem in any mood to accept a joke, his hands trembling on his axe.

“You have my forgiveness,” Fili said, “though I believe you never were to blame. And if my uncle disagree, then it is sad for him.”

It was as if a weight had been lifted from Dwalin shoulders, and he suddenly looked twenty years younger. Suddenly, he was a lot more like the charming guard that Fili had met two years before, and with whom he had enjoyed himself so much.

“I thank you for this, young prince.”

“And I thank you for... sharing your story. You didn't have to, but I appreciate it.”

Dwalin only nodded, and Fili understood that the conversation was over. He got up, and went back to his brother, thinking that it was a first step. Next time, he would have to ask if Dwalin really was courting Ori.


	3. it seemed like a good idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili has revelations to make, and he can count perfectly well, thank you very much.

Dwalin wasn't courting Ori. He wasn't because Ori was being courted by someone else. Namely, by Kili.

 It rather came as a shock to Fili. Sure, he had since long noticed that his brother and the small scholar were very good friends, but he had never been given any reason to think that they were anything more than that. Though, now that he knew it, it explained the “getting naked to help Ori with art”, and the “don't you think Ori would like this awfully expensive book I've found” and one “Do you think Ori would rather wear an engagement hair-ring of silver or gold?”.

 Come to think of it, Fili had been rather blind.

 It ran in the family.

 But to be quite honest, the blond prince felt that his brother could have chosen a better moment to tell him about his secret engagement to the company's scribe. They were supposed to be guarding the ponies, for Mahal's sake, not discussing the best way to tell Thorin that his youngest nephew intended to marry a cousin, and a male one at that.

 “The best way to tell him is to never tell him,” Fili declared. “You know how he feels about romance. As far as he is concerned, if anyone around him is in love, it's practically a personal insult against him.”

 “But I don't want it to stay secret!” Kili whined. “It's so bloody anoying, having to hide all the time. We are _engaged_ , you know! Thank the Maker, Dwalin always helps us getting some time alone...”

 “Too much information!”

 “... _but_ we can never do more than kiss and hold hands, because his brothers are around and they'll kill me if they discover us. I need it to be official, and I need uncle's approval! If he approves the match, Nori and Dori can't say a thing against it!”

 “But he'll never approve!” Fili insisted. “And certainly not on a quest like that one, because he think we should all be focussed on our travel, and he's right. This is no time for romance and engagement!”

 “Oh, like you're not trying to seduce Dwalin! Come on, you help me with uncle, and I swear Ori and me will make sure Dwalin stops pretending he doesn't want you.”

 Fili frowned. “What do you mean, pretending that he's not...”

 “Didn't we have sixteen ponies?” Kili cut him. “I think we had sixteen. I'm sure we had sixteen!”

 “We _do_ have sixteen.”

 “I'm counting fourteen.”

 “Then you're counting _wrong_.”

 “No I'm not!”

 “Look, either you've counted wrong, or we have lost two ponies. Which one is more likely?”

 'Well, count them, then, since you're so clever!”

 Fili sniggered, and counted the beast. Then he counted again. And again. And again.

 “Uncle is going to skin us alive,” he whispered, and Kili nodded, staring dramatically at the empty space where there should have been two more ponies.

 

All sorts of things happened after that, things that involved them sending Bilbo to steal back their ponies from trolls (Fili's idea was that, since their uncle liked the hobbit so much, he'd either be very glad of the halfling heroism, or very worried and running to his rescue, and that in both cases he wouldn't care who had lost the ponies in the first place)

 (It had sounded like a very good plan in his head, but after putting it in motion, he started seeing one or two flaws in it)

 (Though in the end, Thorin was very impressed with their hobbit, no matter how much he still denied it, so Fili was pretty proud of himself)

 Gandalf wasn't half as happy with the way the king was treating their hobbit, though. _Of course he wouldn't_ , Fili thought. _He doesn't know how shitty uncle is at expressing emotions._ Well, someone needed to reassure the wizard. Or to freak him out because having a psychorigid dwarf king lusting about your friend was not something that everybody would like, really.

 “Your uncle is a fool,” Gandalf grumbled when he saw Fill approaching. “Bilbo saved you all, and yet he still refuses to see his value!”

 “Oh, he sees it plenty,” the prince assured him. “He wouldn't be such an ass to him otherwise. I mean, he loves Kili and me, and that's how he treats us too, you know. If he hated him, he'd have killed him long ago and if he didn't care, he'd just ignore him. No, he's only awful like that to people he really likes.”

 The wizard seemed to consider that information for a moment.

 “Are you quite _sure_ of what you say? If it's true, it could be of great importance, my boy.”

 “I'm as sure as I can be after living a lifetime with the old man.”

 “Then I have a bet or two to change. Now, were are Balin, Oin and Nori? _Dwarves_! They _never_ are where you need them to be...”

 That had been strange, even considering what seemed to be the standards of their quest. But Fili decided not to comment on it. And anyway, because things had not been weird enough like that, suddenly a man on a sleigh pulled by rabbits joined them, and Fili decided that he was giving up on anything ever making sense again.

 


	4. moutains suck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili might be a dwarf, but he still doesn't like mountains that much.

Rivendell was nice enough, Fili later decided. His brother certainly seemed to enjoy it. For the whole week they stayed there, Kili and Ori only joined the rest of the company for meals, and not even all meals at that. And yet no one seemed to notice anything. It made Fili feel better about himself. He had been blind, yes, but it clearly was a normal thing for dwarves to not notice when people were shagging like rabbits in March.

Though to be frank, he was more than a little envious of the two young idiot's little romance. He wished he could have something like that too, but Dwalin was still as distant as ever, refusing to acknowledge his presence whenever they would sit together during meals. Which was to say, Dwalin ignored him at every meal, since Fili never missed an occasion to be close to the older dwarf.

The most frustrating part of it all was that, whenever Fili wasn't _directly_ next to him, Dwalin reacted to everything he did or said. Fili told a joke to Nori and Gloin? Dwalin was two feet behind them and laughed as much much as the others. Fili managed to drag his brother away from Ori's arms and had a bit of playful wrestling, encouraged by the rest of the company, and Dwalin was cheering on him. Fili was singing as night started falling, and Dwalin joined him, his low voice perfectly complementing the prince's higher one.

It was torture.

It was heaven.

It was proof that, for all that he tried to act like he didn't care for him, Dwalin was still that handsome and funny guard who had suggested they had breakfast together after a night spent laughing and talking.

 

* * *

 

Fili had rather liked Rivendell, in the end. He had liked it even more once they had left it and gone into the Misty Mountains. It was cold, up there. Cold and wet. Cold and wet and full of stone giants that accidentally separated him from his brother.

Kili should have jumped to stay with him, _could_ have jumped, Mahal knew he could jump greater distances than that, but he hadn't. Fili was sure he'd seen his brother's hand in Ori's before the giant moved away. Bloody fool in love! If Kili survived he would _kill_ him, and then he would kill Ori too, for having turned his brother into a bigger idiot than he already was.

He was quick to forgive the little dwarf, though. First, because Kili _did_ survive, and secondly because Ori was one of the first to jump to Bilbo's rescue when the hobbit almost fell from the mountain (Ori, and Bofur. So the toy-maker really was interested in their burglar... oh, that was going to make everything _very_ complicated if Thorin noticed it... Fili hoped his uncle would remain blind).

And then Thorin had saved the hobbit. By jumping down the cliff and pushing him up, helped by Bofur and Ori. So much for pretending not to care about the little one; Fili wasn't sure his uncle would have taken such risk for _him_. And the danger had been real, too: Thorin had slipped, almost falling to his death. He would have died, if not for Dwalin.

Everyone was saving everyone. How nice.

What was a good deal less nice was the way Thorin clung to Dwalin once he was back on the path, the way Dwalin's hand wouldn't release his uncle's sleeves. There was familiarity in there, an intimacy even, the sort that Fili wished to someday have with the warrior. And there was a look in their eyes, something too heated for old friends, something that hinted at a _history_. It was there for half a second at most, before Thorin pushed Dwalin away and started insulting Bilbo again. Half a second, but it had been enough to agitate Fili. He wasn't sure what he had just seen, but he was sure he didn't like it one bit.

 

* * *

 

That night, as they were all sleeping or trying to, Fili heard the hobbit trying to leave, and Bofur trying to stop him. And for the first time since he had first been made aware of the romantic triangle they had with Thorin, the prince hoped that if he stayed with the Company, Mr Baggins would choose Bofur rather than his uncle. A part of him wanted Thorin to hurt the way _he_ had, when he had seen him so close to Dwalin.

But instead, the ground had opened below him, and he had fallen into the mountain, and been captured by goblins.

This day just couldn't get any worse, could it?


	5. bad day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili really doesn't like this day at all, and Bilbo is being heroic, to everyone's surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update because snow day and I'm feeling generous~

The goblins hadn't been so bad, in the end. Sure, they had stolen everything they owned, and they had wanted to torture Ori to death, before trying to behead Thorin, and of course after that the entire Company had had to run for their lives, but it could have been worse.

They could have lost their burglar, for example.

The look of sheer panic on Thorin and Bofur's faces would have been rather amusing, if not for the fact that they had _lost their burglar_ , who was still somewhere inside the mountains.

Thorin jumped on that occasion to be stupidly dramatic and brooding, of course, and to pretend he did not care that they had lost Mr. Baggins. As if anyone believed him. For the Maker's sake, he had _jumped from a cliff just the night before the save their burglar_ , even dwarves started understanding what was going on when you did things like that!

It had been a bit of a surprise when Mr Baggins had appeared out of nowhere. Thorin immediately asked him why he had come back, being the paranoiac dwarf that he was. Fili _knew_ why the halfling had followed them. The way the little one had stared at his uncle during the entire trip made it quite obvious. But the little speech that Mr Baggins gave them was a rather nice one, about missing his home but being willing to give it up to help them go back to _their_ home. It would have moved a stone to tears, really. Though Fili was too busy fighting a laughter: the look of pure lust and admiration in his uncle's eyes was simply hilarious. He would have felt sorry for Bofur, if not for the fact that the hobbit was looking at him during most of his little speech. Oh, Thorin would have to be careful, he was losing ground.

“Are ye alright, laddie?” Dwalin asked him, taking his attention away from the hobbit and his two suitors. “Ye were right under the goblin King when he fell...”

“So were you. But I'm fine, just a few bruises I'd say. Kili's probably in a worse state. And you?”

“Few scratches, nothing terrible. I'll ask Oin to have a look at it.”

“Or I could do it!” Fili quickly offered. “Oin will have a lot of work to do, I'm not hurt, you've got a wonderful body, I think it's a good deal for everyone involved. Wait, did I say the thing about your body aloud?”

“I'm afraid ye did, lad,” Dwalin answered with a grin. “And if ye're so eager to help...”

“Oh, I am. _Eager to Help_. That's my other name.”

And it would have all gone very well, if only a pack of orcs and wargs hadn't chosen that moment to arrive and _try to kill them_.

Fili was starting to sense a pattern there.

Things, again, went very fast after that. There was a lot of climbing into trees, followed by jumping into tree because yours was falling, and some throwing inflamed cones at wargs, which could have been rather funny, really, if the last tree left, the one where they were all sitted, hadn't decided to start falling too. Until a few roots were only thing preventing them from certain death by encountering at great speed a ground situated hundreds of metres below them. Fili vaguely noticed that Ori had lost his grip on the tree, and was only saved thanks to Dori and the wizard, but his attention was elsewhere.

Namely, on his uncle Thorin.

Who had managed to get back on the ground, and had decided to attack the orcs and wargs. On his own. Alone.

Sometimes, Fili hoped he had been adopted, because clearly being from the line of Durin meant you had no sense of self-preservation, on top of all your other defects.

And Thorin did not even have the decency of looking amazing and dramatic as he was defeated by Azog's white warg. He had just swung his sword a lot, and then the beast had leaped at him, making him fall on his back. It could have been funny if it hadn't been so terrifying. Fili exchanged a quick look with his brother, then with Dwalin, and the three of them started trying to climb back on the trunk to go help their king.

But the hobbit got there first.

The hobbit. Mr Baggins. Their burglar. The little halfing who had spent the entire journey complaining about handkerchiefs and missing his bed.

That hobbit. Saved Thorin. By killing an orc at least twice his size.

Fili fell in love, just a little. Oh, that one was a keeper. He'd have to make sure Thorin didn't let anyone take him away. If they survived.

Just in time, Fili, Kili and Dwalin managed to run to Thorin and the hobbit, defending them from new attackers. It was a lost fight, they all knew it, but that didn't mean they wouldn't give everything they had. And really, dying by his brother and uncle's side was rather glamorous and heroic, Fili decided. Something like that would make a great story one day. If anyone still lived to tell the tale.

But Fili would rather appreciate it if people left out the part where they were saved by _eagles_ , when the time would come to write a saga about them. He was glad that they had come and rescued his uncle and the rest of the Company, sure, but there was something so _undignified_ about flying around on a bird's back.

It was almost as bad as that brown wizard and his rabbits.


	6. abusing people isn't a good way to court them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin finally makes a move, with unexpected consequences

Thorin was alive. Hurt and bruised and barely breathing when his eagle had delicately put him down on the ground, but alive. So alive that all he needed to be able to get up once again was a little magic trick from their wizard, which clearly meant he hadn't been in such a bad state to begin with. Not that Fili was calling Gandalf a _bad_ wizard, no, but he still had serious doubts about his magical powers.

Well, at least their uncle looked well enough. After all, he was back to abusing the hobbit, which was always a good sign with him.

“He can call him useless all he wants, he still asked for the little one as soon as he opened his eyes,” Fili told Kili with a smirk. Or at least, he had thought he was talking to his brother, but the idiot, instead of watching another round of I-love-you-but-I-have-issues-so-I-will-make-you-hate-me, had run to Ori's side, the two of them in tears. Fili couldn't blame them for being a bit shaken of course, not after all they had just been through. He blamed them even less because it meant he was now talking to Dwalin instead of his baby brother.

“So, d'you think my uncle will get that axe off his ass one day and finally get it on with the little one?”

“Not a chance,” Dwalin grumbled gloomily. “He's far too...”

He didn't finish his sentence, and Fili wouldn't have listened anyway. Because in the middle of his usual abuse, Thorin had admitted to being wrong (not normal) and had taken the hobbit in his arms (not normal) to hug him (the very definition of not normal). And it wasn't an accident either, not with how long it lasted, not with the smile on Thorin's face as he drew away. Fili was fairly sure he had never seen his uncle look so happy.

He turned towards Dwalin, to tell him that he'd been wrong, but the words remained stuck in his throat. The warrior had the same murderous look he'd had when facing the goblin king or Azog. Fili had been made rather uncomfortable by that overly-long hug too, but that reaction was a bit strong, really.

“Everything... okay, Dwalin?”

“Fine,” the older dwarf grunted. “Bloody brilliant. Glad for yer uncle. Not sure the hobbit deserves him, though.”

“Well, he _did_ save Thorin...”

“I meant that the little one probably deserves _better_.”

“Better than _Thorin_? What's better than him? He's a _king_?”

“Yeah. And trust me, ye'd be better off fucking Azog than Thorin.”

To be honest, considering that Thorin was his _uncle_ , Fili had never really considered him as a potential bed partner anyway. Choosing between him and Azog would have been a very painful, very _repulsive_ decision to make. Though that probably wasn't what Dwalin was trying to say.

“Is Thorin an... inconsiderate lover?” Fili asked, trying hard _not_ to imagine anything. “Do you think we should... warn the halfling while there's still time?”

“Ye can if you want. I'm not getting involved in that. I've had my share of problems with Thorin's love life. Now if ye don't mind, I've got a wound or two I'd like to show Oin. Ye should go tell yer brother that he's not supposed to be _involved_ with his boyfriend, before Dori and Nori realize what he's doing.”

Fili frowned, not sure how he felt about the idea that Dwalin had had to deal with his uncle's love life in any way. But the older dwarf was right of course, Kili and Ori had to be separated before _someone_ noticed something. The two young ones appeared to take it rather well, seeming only ashamed that they had temporarily forgotten they needed to be careful. Ori wiped his tears with the back of his sleeve and went back to his brothers, while Kili remained with Fili and took his hand, as he used to do as a child when he was scared.

“Kee?”

“He almost died,” the dark haired prince whispered, sounding panicked. “I could have lost him twice today, and there was nothing I could do to save him! Even the hobbit was of more use that me today. The _hobbit_!”

“Shh, don't let uncle hear you talk of him!” Fili ordered with a grin. “He'll think you're interested in the little one, and I don't think he's too nice when he's jealous. I don't think finally having his hobbit will improve his mood just yet.”

“Oh, I don't know. He _smiled_ , Fee. A real, proper smile. I don't think I had ever seen him smile in my entire _life_. It was _terrifying_.”

They both laughed at that, and Kili seemed a little more relaxed. But the events of the day had shaken him badly, that much was clear. When they all decided to have a little nap, Fili ended with his brother lying next to him and clinging to his shirt like a frightened child, and it simply broke his heart.

He decided that he would have to start talking to Thorin, to make things official for the two lovebirds. Maybe that would help Kili worry a little less. Maybe he could do it the very next day, while their uncle was still happy of his hug with the hobbit.

 

* * *

 

The following day, Fili soon realized that he was not going to tell his uncle about Kili and Ori. Not yet. Possibly not ever. Because while everyone was having a frugal breakfast (rabbits and mutton, a present from the eagles) Fili had been approached by the hobbit, who had requested a private discussion with him.

That, in itself, had not been a surprise. The first thing you did when you expressed romantic interest in someone was to inquire to their family if they accepted the match (unless you were Kili and Ori, in which case you got engaged first and hid it from everyone until you went on a life-threatening quest, because _that_ was the logical thing to do). Sure, their little burglar seemed rather worried, but he was courting, or being courted, by a king. That tended to be stressful for most people. So Fili allowed the little one to take him to the other side of the rock where they had landed, as far from the others as they could hope to go.

“What is your problem then, mister Baggins?” The prince asked with a large grin. “Let me guess, it has something to do with Thorin.”

“Thorin is usually a bit of a _problem_ to me, yes, and this is no exception. Thorin... That is, your uncle... he is... he's not... I have sort of noticed that he isn't a very physical person, not for a dwarf. I would even go as far as to call him _cold_.”

Fili only nodded, amused by the slight blush on the little one's face.

“But he hugged me, yesterday,” the hobbit continued. “That is not a normal behaviour for him. Not at all. And... I had always thought that he hated me, but after what happened, I can't help but wonder... It's quite silly of course. I'm not sure why I'm even asking you. You're going to laugh at me again, and your brother too. But do you think there's any chance that your uncle might actually _like_ me?”

“Well, _yes_ , that was the message, I'd imagine.”

“Oh. Damn, this isn't good. This is very, very _bad_.”

That wasn't quite the reaction Fili had expected. Not from someone who had spent weeks mooning over his uncle and admiring at him as if he were a Silmaril.

“How is this bad, exactly? Don't you like him?” the prince asked. Maybe hobbits had rules against male shagging males? Humans did. It made it a bit difficult to bed one, but very rewarding because those who were interested in such things were usually extremely eager to enjoy themselves when they had the occasion.

But as it turned out, Bilbo's problem was of a very different sort.

“I... like him, I suppose. He has a charm that is certainly very difficult to resist, of course. But he's been a bit of an ass until now, and as I've said, I thought he hated me, whereas... well, Bofur did make fun of me at first, but _he_ soon became a lot nicer, you see.”

“Wait, you're telling me...”

“He offered me his companionship in Rivendell,” the hobbit explained. “And he was quite lovely about it, too. Terribly worried that I was in love with Thorin. Which I wasn't. Am not. Really not. Even if... well. Your uncle had his chance, and he didn't take it. Do you... do you think he'll be very angry to learn that Bofur and I...”

“ _You can't tell him_!” Fili hissed, seizing him by the shoulders. “Seriously. You can't.”

“Now, don't be so dramatic, your uncle is an adult, and I'm sure he can...”

“He's an adult who tried to seduce you by repeatedly calling you a useless burden and an idiot.”

“Ah. Point taken. But I... I can't very well hide that, can I? I don't want to anger him again, but it would be a little unfair to give him any hope when there is none to be had.”

 _You should have thought of that before you looked at him as if he were made of pure diamond_ , Fili almost said. But didn't. He was terribly proud of his self-control. After all, the halfling had a point: Thorin had had his chance, and he had ruined it entirely by being a complete ass. But they could not afford to have him be hurt in such a way, not when he was wounded, had lost a battle, and learned that the orc who had killed his grandfather was still alive, and all that in barely a couple hours.

“We'll find a way,” the prince eventually decided. “For now, stay with the wizard, pretend you don't notice anything he does, and tell Bofur to... not... act too jealous if Thorin tries anything? We'll figure out a way to make it all work, don't worry about that.”

The hobbit agreed, though he did not seem too convinced.

To be honest, neither was Fili.


	7. a lesson in courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili is terribly impressed by Bilbo, who is braver than he would have thought.

When they went back to the others, the hobbit made a point to sit by Gandalf to have his breakfast, rather than with Bofur as he usually did. It was then and only then that Fili realized just how often their burglar would be next to the toy-maker. Since Rivendell, the two had been as inseparable as Fili and Kili, and seeing one meant seeing the other. He was surprised that he hadn’t noticed earlier that they were involved together, but then again, they were both friendly, easy going fellows, they had all thought that they were just very good friends.

Dwarves really were _blind_ sometimes, Fili thought, but for once, it might be a good thing.

Except of course, Bofur simply could not stay away from the hobbit for an _entire breakfast_. It would have been too much to ask. And Thorin didn’t seem to happy to see another dwarf coming near what he probably thought of as _his_ hobbit. He seemed even less happy when the pair started whispering to one another and occasionally throwing him a worried look.

So much for trying to be discreet then. Fili felt like he was surrounded by people who had no idea what subtlety meant. Coming from dwarves it wasn’t a surprise, but he would have expected the hobbit at least to be a little bit better at it. He was supposed to be their _burglar_ , for the Maker’s sake. Discretion was sort of a required quality in that profession.

Well, it was their problem, he decided as he went back to sit with Kili. Kili and Dwalin, who had apparently abandoned his own brother to join Fili’s. Not that the young prince minded. Not at all. He was half sure that the warrior was just playing the messenger between Ori and Kili, as he sometimes did, but it was still nice to have him around, and Fili decided to sit at his side, instead of taking back his place next to Kili.

“What did the hobbit want then?” his little brother asked him, smiling. “Has he finally understood that uncle wants him?”

Dwalin immediately tensed at that, and Fili hesitated. Telling the older dwarf that Thorin had no chance with Bilbo might have made him feel better, but somehow, he wasn’t sure he wanted Dwalin to know that his uncle was doomed to remain single for the time being. He wasn’t about to say that the warrior was jealous of the hobbit, but it certainly looked like it sometimes. And Fili didn’t like it one bit.

Oh, and there was the fact that Bilbo’s relationship with Bofur was meant to remain secret for the time being, of course.

“I think our little hobbit has… understood many things, yeah,” he eventually answered. “Not… sure he’s too happy with it, though.”

“But he’s _in love_ with uncle!”

“Not so _loud_! And in love or not, uncle has been a total ass to him, and apparently our little hobbit isn’t the sort to let a lover tell him he’s not worth a thing and that he shouldn’t even have tried to come. Can’t blame him for that. _I_ wouldn’t like it either.”

“Then we should worry for the burglar,” Dwalin grunted. “Thorin isn’t one to take no for an answer once he has decided something.”

As if to prove him right, Thorin stood up then, ignoring Oin’s protests that _he was trying to heal him there, in case no one had noticed_ , and he walked straight to the hobbit who threw him a wary look.

“May I help you with something, Thorin?”

“Yes. I wish to have breakfast with you. Come sit with me.”

Fili shuddered. That was his uncle’s “I-am-a-king-and-you-shall-obey-me” tone. No one resisted that tone. Not even his mother, Dis, dared to protest when Thorin went all majestic on her (though to be fair, he only used it on her on extremely important business, such as to convince her to let his nephew come on a quest, or because he just wouldn’t eat his greens because she cooked like a troll). Mahal himself would have thought twice before refusing Thorin when he spoke like that, like a king, like an all powerful ruler.

“No,” the hobbit said.

“Excuse me?”

“I said no,” Bilbo repeated calmly. “I am perfectly comfortable where I am, and I have no wish to move. You can sit with us if you want to, though.”

“I demand that _you_ come sit with _me_ ,” Thorin insisted, trying once again his commanding tone. “You will be far more comfortable there than you are here.”

“Why, do you have a better quality of rocks over there? Now _that_ would be terribly unfair.”

“You saved my life, and I wish to repay your kindness. Why are you making this so _difficult_?”

“Because I like it where I am. I appreciate your attempts at kindness, I really do, but I think you should try to learn the meaning of the word before you attempt to use the concept. Giving me orders isn’t being _kind_. Take a few lessons from someone who knows how to be nice, and we will talk again. Until then, I will sit were I please, thank you very much.”

Fili had to admit he was impressed. First at Thorin, for not having thrown the hobbit down the rock. Yet. His uncle wasn’t exactly known for his charming temper, and as Dwalin had said, he wasn’t used to being refused anything. It made family reunions _ever_ so interesting.

But really, it was the hobbit who had all his admiration. Bilbo could say what he wanted, it was obvious that he cared for Thorin, and cared for him a lot too, despite all the abuse he had received from the king. And yet, now that the object of his affection was finally paying him attention, he had the strength to remind Thorin that not only had he been an ass in the past, but _he was still being one_ , and that Bilbo was having none of that. And _that_ was probably as brave as killing an orc for someone.

If all hobbits were like that, Fili was starting to understand why Gandalf liked them so much.

Thorin, on the other hand, rather looked like he didn’t like hobbits anymore. If Gandalf hadn’t been right next to Bilbo… well, the little one would still have had Bofur to protect him of course, and a few dwarves in the company would have come to his help. Probably.

“Do as you wish then, halfling,” Thorin all but spat. “But don’t get too comfortable. We are leaving in half an hour. And that’s the same for all of you,” he added, turning back to the rest of the company. “We’re safe from the orc for now, but if Azog has found us once, he can find us again. We cannot rest here, in the open, it’s not _safe_.”


	8. dwarves too need to bathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone relaxes and enjoys a much needed bath. Dwalin doesn't say enough, Kili says more than he should, and Thorin doesn't say anything.

They started going down the rock (the Carrock, according to Gandalf. Not that Fili trusted him. The name was silly) exactly half an hour later, and it was clear to everyone that it was not going to be a good day. Thorin was rarely in a good mood as such, but have him in a bad mood was something Fili would not have wished to anyone, except Azog or Smaug. If even them.

Fili was honestly grateful when Gandalf went to talk to his uncle, to announce that he had a friend living not far from there who might help them. A friend who might offer them food, and proper beds for a night or two. And that was enough to calm Thorin a little, thank the Maker, because of course he was a king before anything else, and making sure that his subjects (all twelve of them) were safe and healthy had to be his first preoccupation.

The entire company walked in relative silence after having left the Carrock. There were few chances that the goblins would find them there, but the fear was still as real. Gandalf was trying to lift everyone’s spirit, and in particular Bilbo’s, but to no effect. They were all feeling grim, tired and scared. And dirty. Fili felt that the dirty part was important. He was covered in goblin’s blood, among other things, and it wasn’t a very nice feeling. Of course Dwalin looked stunning like that, like a ferocious warrior straight out of a great saga, but Dwalin looked good in any circumstances, so it didn’t count. Fili, on the other hand, was sure he needed a good bath soon. He smelled like a troll, and probably looked like one too.

When Nori, who had gone ahead to scout, ran back to say he had found a small lake, there were shouts of happiness from the entire company. Fili hadn’t been the only one to notice the smell.

A _skunk_ would have noticed the smell.

All fear was forgotten, and everyone was quickly undressing, in spite of Thorin’s calls for cautiousness. But then again, the king sort of stop protesting once he noticed that even the _hobbit_ was getting naked. And that spoke of how dirty the little fellow must have felt, because it was the first time he wasn’t protesting against the idea of publicly removing his clothes.

Seeing him naked, Fili had to admit that he didn’t understand why anyone would ever _want_ the hobbit. He was small and chubby and not terribly hairy, except for his feet of course. Well, there was a certain exoticism to him, maybe, that could have some appeal, if you were into that sort of things, but it did not justify the way both Bofur and Thorin looked at him. They were like vultures circling a rabbit.

Fili almost worried for their burglar, he really did, until he remembered that the little one had killed a warg and an orc, _and_ that he had told Thorin to fuck off. He could take care of himself.

Which meant that Fili could pay attention to something more interesting than his uncle’s love life.

For example, he could pay attention to the fact that Dwalin, like the rest of them, was deliciously naked. And that he really was covered in tattoos. How nice. Fili wanted nothing more than to go and touch every single line of ink on the older dwarf’s body, and he saw no reason to not do it.

He paddled toward the warrior, who raised an eyebrow when he saw the prince.

“Need any help washing your back?” Fili offered, looking as innocent as he could. “If you’re half as stiff as I am, you won’t be able to reach everywhere.”

“Not sure yer uncle will like it if ye start putting yer hands all over me, lad.”

Fili grinned. Thorin might not like it, indeed, but _he_ rather liked the idea.

“My uncle has his own problems to take care of, he won’t notice,” he said, starting to scrub the other’s muscular back. Oh, didn't that feel _nice_. He could do it for _hours_.

“He’ll have trouble courting his hobbit, that’s quite certain. Who would have known that little grocer had it in him to resist a king.”

“You really must hate uncle, to want him to end up alone so much,” Fili commented. He instantly regretted it.

Dwalin, who had been smiling until then and had rather looked like a cat being petted, immediately tensed.

“I don't hate yer uncle. I just happen to _like_ the hobbit, and this won't end well for him.”

“When you... say you like the hobbit...”

“I don't want to bed him, if that's what you fear. I like my lovers to look like proper dwarves, not like beardless babes. But he's a nice little one, he's done the best he could since he joined us, and he deserves better than Thorin Oakenshield.”

“Whom you don't hate,” Fili reminded him.

“Whom I don't hate,” Dwalin confirmed. “He's my king, and I'm loyal to him. I wouldn't have followed him if I still hated him.”

“Which means...”

“We have a history, yer uncle and I, and it's not pretty. Maybe one day, I'll tell ye. But not today.”

“I'll have to wait, then, but on one condition,” Fili replied.

“And what would that be, princeling?”

“Well, as it so happens, I also have a back that needs washing, you see...”

Dwalin stared at him in surprise, then burst out laughing.

“As my prince commands, then! Come here laddie, let's have you all nice and clean.”

Fili grinned smugly, glad to have managed to avoid the dark mood that always seemed to take the older dwarf when his past was mentioned, and even gladder to have found a way to finally get those huge, strong hands on his body. It was going to be heaven, and...

“Dwalin, come here a moment!” Balin called. “I need your help.”

“Can't it _wait_?” Fili and Dwalin asked at the same time.

“No, it _can't_. Come here this instant, brother.”

Dwalin sighed, but obeyed. For a short second, Fili had half a mind to go and kill Balin for interrupting what might have become a very interesting moment, but he managed to show some restraint. Thorin might not approve of him killing his counsellor and friend, and he was Dwalin's brother after all. Assassinating him might _not_ be the best way to win the warrior's affections.

He'd have to wait for another occasion to have Dwalin touch him.

Meanwhile, his back was still dirty, and Kili wasn't doing anything useful. Well, he was starring at Ori like a love-struck puppy, but that was nothing new, and it would be for the best if he was made to stop. Dori was as blind as any other dwarf, but Fili suspected that _Nori_ knew more than he should have about the two young ones. Since he hadn't said anything, he probably didn't mind too much. That, or he was still planning how to eliminate Kili in a way that would look like an accident.

Fili would have to tell Kili to be careful, just in case.

But that would wait. First, to get his back washed. He rinsed the piece of cloth he had used on Dwalin, and threw it to his brother. It landed on the younger dwarf's head, slapping him in the face. Good. Fili was glad to see his aim was still as good.

“What do you want?” Kili whined, angry that someone had disturbed him when he was _so_ busy.

“Wash my back, I'll wash yours and have a look at it, see if there's anything you should show to Oin. And before you say anything, _yes_ , I'm aware it's not _me_ you'd like to wash. If you're not more careful, it won't be long until the whole company knows.”

Kili blushed at that, but took the piece of cloth and set to work.

“Do you really think the others might notice about... you know?” he asked, sounding rather worried. “I don't mind that they know. I sort of want them to know, but... I'm not sure...”

“Trust me, you don't want _uncle_ to know, not right now, not with the mood he's in. You've kept it secret that long, can't it wait a little more?”

“I know I should wait,” Kili agreed half-heartedly. “But... I'm scared, Fee. If the goblins had killed him, or if the eagles hadn't arrived, I would have lost him forever, and no one would ever have known that I loved him! And I can't even react when Gloin or Bombur tease him because he's small and bookish, because he's afraid I might slip and say something, and...”

“Mahal, you really _do_ love him, don't you?”

“Of course I do!” Kili exclaimed, offended that anyone could have doubted him. “I've told you, haven't I? We are engaged, and I'll marry him as soon as I can, because he's the only one for me. We've talked about it you know, and we know how much it would cost to get a house of our own, and what money we'd need to earn a living and eat and have decent clothes and everything.”

Fili turned to face his brother. The dark haired dwarf was as red as a ruby, and glaring at his brother as if to challenge him to laugh at his decision.

But Fili was in no mood to laugh. He had thought that his little brother's passion for their scribe was just a childish crush, and that their engagement was more of a game than a serious thing. He was not so sure now. He had never seen Kili so serious, not even during that fight they had had with their mother when she had tried to refuse they followed their uncle to Erebor. The blond prince wasn't sure how he felt about that. Kili was his little brother, the family's baby, he wasn't supposed to be already so grown up.

“Maybe you should marry him now then,” Fili said in what he hoped to be a joking tone. “Balin is legally capable of performing a wedding, you know. I'm sure he'd do it, if you asked nicely.”

“Are you having me on?” Kili asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Why, do you want to get married now?” his brother answered with a smile. “Dori and Nori will just _love_ it. And no, I'm not having you on. It's Balin who married our parents. He told me about it. Mother had forced him to do it, and, well, you know how she is when she has decided something. So she and father both found themselves a witness, Balin said the words, and tadam, they were married. Apparently grand-father almost had an attack afterwards.”

“I didn't know that!”

“Well, mother doesn't want the story to be known, I think. Let's just say that I was born very, _very_ soon after the wedding, and leave it at that. Now come here, we still have to take care of your back before uncle decides we have to move again.”

Kili promptly obeyed, but that had been more a way to change the topic than anything. Thorin didn't seem in a hurry to go. He had finished washing long ago, and was talking with Dori. Or more exactly, Dori was talking to him (or _at_ him, if you wanted to be precise) while Thorin sat there on a rock, consumed by lust as he gazed upon the naked body of his hobbit.

With an uncle with the potential capacity for romance of a dead oyster, and a brother who was talking of getting married when he wasn't even eighty, Fili supposed that made him the only sane person in his family.

It wasn't as much comfort as it should have been.

 


	9. flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin makes an effort. Bilbo is not impressed. Balin remains annoying.

In the end, if was Gandalf who had to remind them that they were on a tight schedule and should get moving. Thorin had been too busy admiring Bilbo's backside (and frontside, when the hobbit turned the right way) to remember that they were supposed to be on a quest. That alone spoke of his affection for the little one, in Fili's mind, and it made him almost sad for his uncle. Until he remembered that less than a week before, said uncle spent most of his free time verbally abusing the hobbit. Someone, someday, would have to take the king to the side and tell him exactly how you were supposed to seduce someone.

Lesson one: talk to them as if they were intelligent beings who deserved to be alive. Lesson two: treat them as someone who deserved to be alive. Lesson three: Don't be an asshole. Lesson four: there was no lesson four because Thorin was physically incapable of not being a dick to people he loved.

Or so Fili had always thought.

But while everyone was getting dressed again, Thorin disappeared, only to came back with a bunch of wild flowers such as grew around the lake. Dwarves, as a rule, didn't often exchange flowers, but most of them still knew that you weren't supposed to keep the roots.

Thorin didn't.

When he walked to the hobbit, he had in hand five small blue flowers, bellow which hung a several feet of roots covered in dirt. The king held them out for Bilbo to take, and the hobbit dared not refused, looking half embarrassed and half amused.

“I give you these, in way of apology,” Thorin declared solemnly. “I have treated you far more roughly than you deserved, and it was not right. I hope you will forgive me, and that you will now accept my courtship.”

“I accept your... flowers,” Bilbo answered, throwing an amused glance at the length of roots he had in hand. “And your apology.”

“And my courtship?”

“Not that, no. It will take more than _flowers_ for that. But we... we may be friends, at least, if that would please you? I know I certainly would enjoy your friendship, though it's... all I could offer you, I'm afraid.”

Thorin looked heart-broken. It reminded Fili of Kili when he was told that they hadn't been able to afford meat for dinner.

“Why do you still refuse me? I am making an effort!”

“Yes, and you seem to think _that's_ enough to have right over me,” Bilbo retorted coldly. He looked again at the flower, and a sad look came upon his round little face. “Look, I... I appreciate what you're trying to do here, I really do. It's... I'm touched, I really am, but it's not... I can't... This will not happen, Thorin. I am really sorry, but you should just accept it.”

“Why?”

“I don't think I owe you any explanation, and...”

“You do, actually,” Thorin growled menacingly. “You have spent the entire journey _looking at me_ , every waking moment with your eyes on _me_ , but now that I feel free to answer your interest, you refuse me. I _demand_ to know _why_.”

Fili cringed. And he had thought his uncle was making progress...

"I do not _look at you_!" Bilbo immediately protested, making the entire company, Gandalf included, roll their eyes. "And even if I did, how would that give you any rights over me? And am I really supposed to be pleased that I wasn't worthy of your interest until I started _killing orcs_ for you? Because I'll let you know, that's _not_ who I am, Thorin Oakenshield. There are things I'm willing to do to help this quest, to _protect you_ , but that doesn't mean I'm going to turn into... well, into one of _you_. At the end of the day, I am a hobbit, a queer one maybe, but a hobbit nonetheless and if you think you'll ever get anything but a hobbit out of me, you're wrong."

“Of course you are a hobbit!” the king grunted. “It happens to be one of the thing I appreciate about you, you ungrateful little halfling! If I wanted a dwarf, I'd have.... I'd have taken _Dwalin_!”

A heavy silence fell around them at that. Fili felt as if someone's hand was clutching at his heart and trying to rip it off. It was just a coincidence. Thorin had used Dwalin as an example because... because it was so unlikely for them to ever be involved that it would prove to Bilbo that Thorin wanted him and no one else. Yes. That had to be it. It was a much better explanation than the alternative.

Namely, that while Thorin was lusting after their burglar, his second choice would have been Dwalin.

But neither the king nor Bilbo 'Not-at-all-in-love' Baggins seemed to have notice that everyone’s attention was now on them, and they were still glaring at each other as though they might kill or kiss one another at any moment.

“You really think that calling me _ungrateful_ is going to help your cause? See, this is exactly what I was saying, you just... you're not even trying to be nice, not really! And let me tell you are the _last person_ in the world I could _ever_ be prevailed upon to _love! K_ eep your flowers and keep your temper, Thorin Oakenshield, because I want neither of these!”

With those words, the hobbit threw the flowers to the ground. Thorin looked as if he had been slapped in the face, and for a moment, Fili feared his uncle might snap at that insult. Instead, he took a deep breath, and bowed slightly before Bilbo.

“You could not be more clear, master Baggins,” he said coldly. “I am sorry that my affections are so painful to you. I can assure you that I will not repeat them, nor will I let this have any impact on our future professional relationship. We shall speak of this no more, you have my word.”

“And I thank you for this civility, master Oakenshield,” the hobbit answered dryly, with a bow of his own. “I am glad this little problem is now resolved.”

And Bilbo would have been very convincing there, if he hadn't made such a sad face as the King walked away from him.

 

* * *

 

The road was still long until they arrived at Gandalf's friends, but the bath had lifted everyone’s mood. The little outburst between between their king and the burglar had soon been forgotten, and the entire company was chatting rather merrily. Bilbo, as was to be expected, was walking with Bofur and the wizard, keeping a good distance from Thorin, who was in deep conversation with Gloin and Dori (they were distant cousins. But then again, so were most dwarves, in the end). Bifur and Bombur where listening to a heated discussion between Oin and Nori (something involving bets and money, from what Fili could hear.). Balin had been cornered by Kili and Ori, and the three of them were conspiring something (Fili was scared by that idea. Very, very scared. Balin and Ori were smart dwarves, but anything involving Kili was doomed to be a terrible idea)

Which all meant that the only dwarves not talking to anyone were Fili himself, and Dwalin.

The prince quickly remedied to it by slipping next to the warrior.

“So, what did Balin want with you then?” Fili asked, determined to avoid the whole 'so it looks like Thorin sort of wants to shag you too' thing for as long as possible.

“He was just reminding me of... old mistakes,” Dwalin grunted unhappily. “He doesn't approve of my being too friendly to you, I'd say.”

“Then we are lucky he's not your father, nor mine for that matter. And you aren't all that friendly to me. You didn't even wash my back, in the end.”

“Balin called me before I could do it!”

“Is that the best excuse you could find?” Fili teased. “I feel _terribly_ unwanted here. Maybe I should go ask someone else to take care of my back.”

“I'm sure ye will find plenty of volunteers, little prince. But ye did help me back at the lake, and I would hate not to repay a debt. I'm sure we'll find a moment to... _take care of yer back_.”

Fili grinned. If that was how Dwalin reacted to being told off by his older brother, he could only hope that Balin would do it more often. _That_ was the most flirty he'd seen Dwalin since the beginning of the quest. And he liked it.

“And how exactly do you plan on doing that, master Dwalin? I'm already clean now. Won't be needing another bath for a moment, I'd say. You'll have to get creative if you want to repay me.”

“I'm sure we'll find a way, lad,” Dwalin assured him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “If ye're not too bruised, I'm told I'm not too bad at massages, if that can interest you.”

“Well, it's certainly worth a try, master Dwalin. I'm sure I could...”

“ _Dwalin_ , come here!” Balin yelled. “We need your input on something. Quickly! No, stay where you are, Fili. _Your_ opinion isn't needed at the moment, thank you very much.”

Fili glared at the old dwarf, and for the second time that day, he had to remind himself that he could not kill his uncle advisor just because he was a cock-block.

His only satisfaction, small as it was, was that as he left, Dwalin let his hand slide from his should and down his back, firmly enough to make it clear that the gesture was entirely intentional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand that's the last chapter I have, now I must go back to actually writing on this, and updates might be a bit slower?


	10. The Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili drinks with Nori, and ends up at a wedding. He is not sure which part he regrets most.

Beorn was a big man. Far bigger than anyone had a right to be. Even Dwalin, who normally could manage well enough in men's house, looked tiny compared to their host's table and chairs. But there was food, _good_ food, and delicious mead, and it was the first time that they felt safe since they had left Rivendell (for all that they had complained, it _had_ been a safe place, only Thorin would deny it)

Their first evening there was a merry one, and it was not entirely impossible that Fili drank more than he should have. He blamed Nori for that, who had suggested a drinking contest between them, though really the prince should have known he could not win. You never won against Nori. Otherwise, he wouldn't be, well, _Nori_. Still, it was all fun, and they had sung and told stories, and Fili had loved every moments of it.

What he liked a good deal less was the morning after. That was when he regretted having followed Nori in his idea. Never trust a dwarf whose hair stood on its own. Never trust Nori. Never trust anyone. And kill the fool who had dared to wake him up at _dawn_ after a _party_.

"Come on, get up princeling," Dwalin growled. "We don't have much time."

The fact that it was the warrior who had woken him up annoyed Fili greatly. First, because it meant he couldn't kill anyone to avenge the loss of his much needed sleep. And secondly, because no matter what Dwalin had in mind, Fili probably wasn't in any state to participate.

"Time for what?" the prince grunted. "Wanna sleep. Come back _later_."

"Later will be too late, we need ye now. Come on, do this for yer brother, laddie."

"Kili?"

"Yes, tall lad, looks like a elf, and about as smart. Yer brother. And he needs ye. Come now."

Fili groaned in pain, but managed to get up anyway. Damn his brother. He hoped this was important, or else he would kill him. Or better yet, he would tell Nori and Dori that Kili was courting their little brother and had rushed quite a few steps, and they would kill him, and he'd keep his hands clean, and...

"ARGH! Why does it have to be so _bright_ outside?"

"It's called the sun. Ye'll get used to it."

"I hate you." He grumbled. "I hate Kili too, but I hate _you_ even more."

"We both know that's not true," Dwalin answered with a bright smile, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Now come, don't want to wake the others."

Fili wondered why exactly the rest of the company should be allowed to sleep when he wasn't, but before he could ask, Dwalin dragged him out of the house and to the stable. There, in the middle of the straw and the ponies, were Balin, Ori and Kili, waiting for them. Something about them was strange, Fili vaguely realized, but then again he had a burning headache and everything felt strange and far, far too bright.

“Someone here drank too much, I'd say,” Balin chuckled softly (Fili supposed it must have been soft, because he knew the old dwarf, but it felt like someone had just yelled right into his ear)

“Don't talk,” he begged. “Don't care whass going on. Don't. Talk.”

“That will be a little difficult, my prince, considering the circumstances, but I'll do my best to be quiet. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like you to come and stand next to your brother. That's it, good boy.”

The prince tried to glare at him, but it proved to be too much effort. He looked at his brother instead, hoping to figure out what was going on. Kili had a huge smile placated on his elfish little face, and he looked so stupidly happy that it made Fili want to puke (though that might have been the mead from the night before).

“Whass going on?” he asked.

Kili's smiled widened. “I'm following your advice!”

“Advice?”

“Yes. Thank you again. You are the best brother ever!”

“If you don't mind, boys!” Balin called out. “I think it's high time we got started, unless you want our absence to be noticed. Kili, take Ori's hand, will you?”

The youngest prince blushed, and obeyed.

The rest was a bit of a blur to Fili, if he were to be honest. He sort of noticed that Balin talked a lot, and that sometimes the two young ones would repeat something he had said, or answer his questions, but he didn't really try to follow the conversation. At some point, someone asked him something, about Kili being free and unspoken for (Maybe? He really wasn't listening. His head felt like trolls were having a party inside his skull. He said yes just in case. That seemed to be the right answer. Good for them.)

It was only when Ori started braiding Kili's hair, after Kili had done the same for him, that Fili's brain finally tried to make sense of the whole thing.

“Are you two idiots getting _married_?”

“We're not getting anything,” Ori had protested with a polite smile. “We _are_ married. It's all proper and official now, and you were our witness, with Dwalin.”

Fili was dead.

“I'm dead. I'm _dead_. Your brothers are going to kill me. They'll kill Kili first, but then they'll kill _me_ because I allowed this to happen. Are you two completely _mad_?”

“It was _your_ idea,” Kili reminded him.

“And I won't let Dori and Nori kill anyone,” Ori added with a frown. “It's my life, we've done nothing wrong, it's not their problem.”

“ _You've barely been courting at all_! How long as it been, honestly?”

“Five years next Durin's day,” Kili replied.

“That long?” Fili asked, frowning. “But...you never... said anything before?”

When Kili had told him that he and Ori were engaged, Fili had assumed it was something recent. A couple months, a year at most. But _five years_? It wasn't a long courtship, but it wasn't a rushed one either, and it was a long secret, especially from Kili.

He felt betrayed.

“It's my fault,” Ori said, his arm around his fianc... his _husband's_ waist. “I thought you didn't like me much, and I was afraid you'd... tell everyone about us.”

“And what made you change your mind about me?”

“Nothing. I _know_ you don't like me, but I don't _care_ anymore. I love Kili, and no one can take him from him, not unless he tells me he doesn't want me.”

“And that's not happening,” the youngest prince said with a loving smile. “Not now that I've got you and that it's all nice and proper.”

“Gonna be sick,” Fili grumbled.

“Come on Fee, we're not that bad! And we just got _married_ , we're allowed to...”

“No, seriously. Gonna be sick. Drank too much yesterday. Where's the door?”

Sensing the emergency, Dwalin rushed and grabbed the prince's arm, dragging him back outside, and holding his hair as Fili emptied his stomach against a wall.

He would never again drink with Nori.

“Feeling better?” Dwalin asked him once the worse had passed.

“I've dealt with the hangover. Now I must deal with the fact that my baby brother has married without anyone's permission, and that he apparently think it was my idea.”

“Yer the one who told him Balin could marry them.”

“T'was a joke. I didn't expect him to actually do it. And _you_! You knew, you approved, you _helped_ them! Why would you do that? I thought you had some sense but no, you're as bad as them!”

“They look _happy_.”

Fili looked at the warrior in surprise, and sighed.

“You are such a softy,” he teased with a weak smile. “Two kids in love tell you they want to elope because of their big mean families, and you fell for it. It's _cute_. Very stupid, but cute. And now I have to deal with the consequences, since I'm clearly the only responsible adult in this entire company. I can't believe that _Balin_ of all people would...”

“Ye're reacting like your uncle,” Dwalin said, “when he discovered yer mother had married a commoner.”

It sounded suspiciously like an insult. Fili took it as such.

“I'm _not_ going to denounced them to Thorin because they are shaming the entire line of Durin, if that's what you fear,” he snapped. “Ori is right, I'm not all that fond of him, he's just a bookish little thing, and I don't know what Kili sees in him. But it's _his_ choice not mine, and if he's happy like that, then I can't say anything. I will not be like Thorin and my idiot grand-father who convinced my dad to join their damn war against the goblins to prove that he was worthy of his wife. I know what it did to my mother, I won't let it happen to my brother too. This while thing is crazy, but I'll keep the secret as long as they want me to, and I'll defend them if uncle finds out.”

“Then ye're a better dwarf than yer uncle was at yer age.”

“Yeah. Well, from what I've heard, that's not exactly difficult. And I think I'll be a little angry at you for thinking that I would ever turn against my _brother_ , if you don't mind.”

Dwalin nodded very gravely, and Fili rolled his eyes. He liked the older dwarf, he really did, but sometimes Dwalin was as dramatic as an elf.

“I could be convinced to forgive you, though. If you try hard enough.”

The warrior smiled. Dramatic, but quick to catch on. All hope was not lost.

“I'd offer a kiss,” Dwalin suggested, “but right now it wouldn't be a very good idea, I think. But I think I had promised ye a breakfast once, so we might try that, if y'd like? Can't promise it'll be as nice as the place I'd have taken ye, though.”

“It'll do,” Fili assured him. “For now at least. But I'll still have that kiss later, I'm warning you, as well as that massage you mentioned yesterday. Don't think I've forgotten _that_ either.”

“If ye forgot, I'd remind you, my prince.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is so damn hard to make Fili and Dwalin interact because the others are always stealing the attention from them.


	11. Not a Morning Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> talking to Fili before breakfast isn't a good idea, and can only be unpleasant for everyone involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter (well, even shorter than usual)  
> I'm dreadfully tired for unknown reasons, but I wanted to still try and work a bit on this.

Back in the house, the rest of the company was starting to wake up, and Fili was pleased to see that a few of them were in a worse state that him. Nori looked like he regretted their little contest as much as the prince. It pleased Fili. You did not mess with the line of Durin without facing some consequences.

Thank Mahal, no one seemed to have noticed their absence, though Beorn's disappearance was highly discussed. Gandalf, the only one to be perfectly awake and not suffering from any side effect after their feast (not fair, the bastard had drunk as much as Fili and Nori together) tried to reassure them all.

“He will be back soon enough, and so will I. I have a few things to see to before this journey continue. Don't wait for me, I should not be back before sunset. If I have not arrived then, do not go looking for me. Beorn's warning not to go outside after dark was no joke. Now, you should all rest and enjoy your day, it's as fine a summer morning as I've ever seen.”

And with that he was gone. Wizards and their taste for mystery, really.

Not that Fili cared much. There was food and, thank the Maker, plenty of fresh water.

He was never drinking alcohol again in his entire life.

Not until the next party at least.

Thorin looked in the same state of mind when he came to sit by his nephew. But then again, he always looked like that after waking up. Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain: Not a Morning Person.

“Where is your brother?” he grumbled, looking around. “He barely drank at all, don't tell me he's still sleeping?”

 _No, he's probably out in the fields consumating his marriage, which is the reason why he didn't adsorb quite as much liquor as the rest of us because he couldn't afford to oversleep today,_ Fili thought, not without some envy. There was something very tragic in the world if his idiot baby brother could get laid and he couldn't. He'd have to make a move with Dwalin soon.

“I think Ori and him wanted to... practice archery,” he answered instead.

“Really? Well, that's good. Ori is a nice enough lad, but sometimes I wonder if it was right to bring him on this quest. He's so... innocent.”

“I suppose he is,” Fili sighed, now convinced that their scribe was probably more like Nori than they all thought. Kili might have the one who had first been given the idea of a wedding, but he was sure Ori must have been the one to convince Balin. “I think Kili is determined to help him become more mature and to improve his endurance.”

“Good lad, I'm glad Kili is finally acting his age,” Thorin said with a pleased nod. “You should try and help him too, though, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt if the three of you trained together.”

Fili half chocked on his cake at that idea. Kili would probably murder him if he tried to join their _private training_.

“Not sure it's a good idea, uncle.”

“Why not? Ori is a good lad, smart enough when he wants it. And I think he would appreciate it. I'm not sure of anything, but I have noticed that he seems to often look at you. You could do a lot worse. I'm not asking you to marry him, but if you're that desperate, he could make a decent partner for the duration of our quest.”

“That's _really_ not a good idea.”

“Well, it's a better idea than what you're doing with Dwalin,” Thorin snapped angrily. “Don't think I haven't noticed. I have told you already not to get near him, haven't I? He's not for you. He's not for anyone.”

Fili's hands clenched.

“No offence, uncle,” he said as calmly as he could manage, “but considering recent events, I think you're not really someone from which I should be taking advice for my love life. And if Dwalin is such a terrible dwarf, why did you allow him to join that quest?”

“He's a _good_ dwarf! But he's not a dwarf for _you_. I forbid you to make any further attempt to engage a romance with him.”

Fili closed his eyes, his headache now back and worse than ever. This was not a time to be arguing with his uncle. This was a time where he should drink some warm milk, eat a few cakes, and then go back to sleep until he felt better. That would have been the logical thing to do. Instead, he snapped.

“I do what I want, Thorin.” he growled. “I'm not obeying a king who got rejected by a stupid grocer, _twice_! So deal with your own stupid romance first, and then I might think of taking you opinion into consideration. Until then, leave me alone.”

Any other day, the look of utter shock and hurt on his uncle face would have had him fall to his knees and apologize like a child recovering from a tantrum. But not that day. Not when he was suffering from the worst hangover of his life, had been tricked into helping his brother get married to someone he didn't like that much and whom their family would probably never approve of, all that on an empty stomach.

Thorin had picked the wrong day to try and mess with his love life.

Before anyone could react, Fili grabbed a couple of cakes and walked to the part of the house where they had all slept. He vaguely noticed Bilbo and Bofur sleeping together, but decided he did not care. He had had enough with secret romances for that day.


	12. Mornings are still a terrible thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili continues to hate mornings. Morning continues to hate Fili. And Thorin's love life is of great interest to some people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the result of me listening to "call me maybe" at 1am. Which mostly means I'm exhausted and no longer capable of knowing what's good and what's terrible.

When he woke up for the second time, Fili felt a lot better. At least, he no longer had any impulse to murder anyone foolish enough to get near him, which was a clear improvement. On the other hand he was terribly thirsty. Damn Beorn's idea to cook everything with honey!

He hesitated for a few minutes, wondering if getting something to drink really was worth the effort of leaving his bed. He was rather comfortable and warm, and felt very happy were he was. Beds had been a rare commodity on their quest, and he didn't want to leave that one. Not with all that had happened last time he had made the mistake of properly waking up. He didn't think anything worse than seeing his baby brother marry and then having an argument with his uncle could happen, but life did so love to mess with his life lately. Better be careful, and stay in his best all day.

And that was his plan, until he heard someone, far away, asking if they should wake Bilbo and Bofur to let them have some breakfast. Someone whose voice sounded like Thorin's.

Fili sat up quickly, vaguely remembering the two had been sleeping rather close together. A quick look around confirmed it: the dwarf was lying half over the hobbit and holding him rather protectively, not that Fili could blame him. He'd feel protective too, if a _king_ was courting his lover.

But if said king were to discover that Bofur had such a lover in the first place, things would end up badly. Thorin had been in a dreadful mood that morning, and Fili's little outburst probably hadn't helped.

Thank the Maker, no one seemed to have noticed yet how close the two were.

There was no time for complicated plans. Crawling next to them as discreetly as he could, Fili pushed Bofur down the platform where their beds were located, and quickly went back to hide under his cover while the toy-maker groaned loudly and complained about his elbow and his back.

The noise had alerted some members of the company who quickly came to see what the matter was, and among them was Thorin. Thorin who all but ran to Bofur to check if he was hurt. Both Bilbo and Fili gave up on pretending they were asleep at that, and stared at the king in shock.

“I'm fine!” Bofur grumbled roughly. In the fall his hat had come before his eyes, and he hadn't pushed it back yet, too busy trying to stand up. “Not my favourite way to wake up, is all, and... what are ye doing here?”

Bofur had finally removed his hat, and looked at Thorin with an air of horror and surprise. The king frowned.

“I had come to tell you breakfast is nearly gone,” he explained patiently. “Your brother is currently trying to feed what's left to Nori and Ori because they are apparently too skinny. If you want to eat something, I'd advise you to hurry up. Or if you'd rather sleep some more, I could... save you something?”

Thorin sounded hesitant, almost shy. It wasn't normal, Fili decided. His uncle was supposed to be the most decisive dwarf in the history of dwarfishness. He also was supposed to be stupidly in love with Bilbo, and that sudden kindness toward Bofur was worrying at best. Fili could sense there was a plan at work somewhere, and he'd been part of enough bad plans to know this one was probably a terrible one. He also knew that his uncle was terrible at this sort of things, but that he had been talking a lot with Gloin and Dori the day before.

This didn't sound good.

“I'll... go eat now,” Bofur replied politely, sounding as suspicious as Fili felt. “But thanks fer offering. I'll, er... wake up Bilbo now, and pass the message to him.”

At that the king nodded, and left.

“Well, that was queer,” Bofur grumbled, turning to Bilbo and Fili. “I know ye two aren't sleeping. Care to tell me why ye threw me out of bed, princeling?”

“Well, Thorin was coming,” Fili whispered, “And you were holding Bilbo like a child holds his favourite toy. My uncle isn't great at observation, but even he might have drawn some conclusions. Isn't there a single person in that company that understands the meaning of secrecy and _discretion_?”

“Oh, really,” Bilbo grumbled. “We're not nearly as bad as Ori and Kili, are we?”

Fili threw their burglar a surprised look, while Bofur seemed stunned by the news. Dwarves might have been blind, but apparently hobbits were not. A shame Thorin was such an ass, because Bilbo might have made a rather nice uncle.

“We aren't talking about my idiot brother and his jailbait lover, we are talking about you two. Look, I get that you don't want to hide, no one would want that, but you need to...”

“Keep quiet until yer uncle gets over the fact he was rejected,” Bofur finished for him. “Aye, we get that. And we'll be careful. But don't ask me to thank ye for that awakening, lad. My back'll be hurting fer days.”

* * *

 

Bilbo and Bofur soon went to join the others at the table. Fili hesitated to follow his initial plan and to remain in bed until the next meal at least. It was terribly tempting. But Dwalin still owed him a massage and a kiss, and he owed his uncle an apology. Not that he had said anything that wasn't true, but Fili prided himself in being slightly more diplomatic than Thorin, and that included knowing when he had said something he shouldn't have.

There was something delightfully amusing about knowing he was more mature than his two centuries old uncle, too.

But as he walked toward the table, Fili noticed something strange was going on.

Unsurprisingly, Bilbo and Bofur were sitting side by side, as they always did since Rivendell (really, _how had they all missed that?_ ). Nothing strange there. Except Thorin had taken a seat on the other side of Bofur and was passing him all sorts of cakes and serving tea and asking him if he needed anything else. The poor toy-maker looked even more worried than before, if that was possible, while the hobbit scowled at the king. Whether the burglar was angry that someone was feeding his lover, or that Thorin was paying attention to someone else, Fili wasn't sure, but in both cases his uncle was lucky that looks couldn't kill.

“I really don't need more of anything,” Bofur protested as Thorin put yet another cake in his plate. “I'll be looking like Bom in no time if I eat all that!”

“That might do you good. Your brother is as fine and healthy a dwarf as ever was, and his reserves might be of use to him later one. I'd advise you to follow his example and to eat, master Bofur. It might make a difference between life and death when the time comes.”

The seriousness of Thorin's tone was rather ruined but Nori's chocked laughter, not far from them. The king glared at him, but said nothing and instead went back to trying to force Bofur to eat a pile of food bigger than his head.

Fili's attention then shifted to Nori who, unsurprisingly, was next to Bombur and Bifur, and in deep conversation with Oin. The four of them seemed to be paying great attention to what Thorin was doing around Bofur and Bilbo. The prince was a bit far to be sure, but from the few signs of Iglishmek that he could see, the worlds “idiot” “courting” and “bet” seemed to be coming often.

He groaned and rolled his eyes. Dwarves. Blind to a fault where romance was concerned, but give them an occasion to bet and they thought they were matchmaking experts. Well, not on his watch, and not this time. Thorin had already enough problems without a bunch of idiots trying to make him shag whoever they had chosen for him.

Fili quickly joined them, a frown on his face.

-What are you doing exactly?- he signed angrily. Thorin was too close to risk talking, and Oin wouldn't have heard him even if he had yelled.

-Helping.- Oin replied. -Your uncle needs all the help he can get. No offence.-

-He hasn't got a chance with the hobbit- Nori added with a smirk. -So Oin offered we followed his idea, and I've agreed. Bofur would be good for him. He needs someone with a sense of humour.-

-This is a terrible idea! I can't believe you're betting on your king's love life.-

-Balin started it- Oin protested. -The wizard and him were looking for someone to place bets with, when we were still in the Shire, and we agreed, nothing more. Bofur would be good for him. Not noble, but good. Steady.-

-You're all stupid- Fili signed as he sighed. -And you really need to stop this. Neither Bofur nor the hobbit want Thorin, and he'll have to live with it. I'm surprised you convinced him to start courting someone else so quickly, though.-

-Not courting- Bifur intervened with a grunt. -Being friendly.-

Nori nodded. -Dori and Gloin convinced him that become friend with the hobbit's friend would help our burglar see what a wonderful person your uncle is. It will never work. But Thorin will get to see that Bofur is a wonderful person, and that's good enough. Come on, little prince, you don't want the wizard and Balin to win?-

-What did they bet on?-

-Same thing at first, but then after the orcs Gandalf changed his mind and put all his money on your uncle shagging the hobbit. I hope he's ready to lose. That's never happening.-

Fili nodded gloomily. Well, that explained at least why the old man had always insisted so much that Thorin treated the little one better and had scowled so much whenever the king was being a complete ass.

-And Balin, what did he bet on?-

-You don't want to know- Oin replied with a frown. -You really don't.-

-Unless he bet my uncle would take me or my brother to bed, I actually do want to know.-

Oin and Nori exchanged a look, clearly uncomfortable.

-Come on lad, you know who he bet on- Nori signed, looking at him in the eyes. -He hasn't really been subtle about it.-

Fili frowned. No, he hadn't seen anything. He was a dwarf. He didn't see these things, he thought that much was clear by then.

Except suddenly, he did know. And he didn't like it one bit.

“He bet that my uncle is going to lay with _Dwalin_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> headcanon about Oin: he's deaf, yeah, but that's actually not a problem since he talks using Iglishmek when there are only dwarves around. His horn is only for conversation with other races.


	13. will that blasted morning ever end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili's morning improves, until things take a turn for the worse because Thorin is being dramatic again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. This chapter took forever to write, and I'm very much NOT happy with it, but it's one of those moments when you just have to be DONE with a passage and move on.  
> So here we go.

Learning of the bet changed everything, as far as Fili was concerned. It was sad for Bofur and Bilbo, who were terribly sweet together and seemed very happy as they were, but one of them would have to accept Thorin’s courtship, because there was simply no way that Fili was letting his uncle get the dwarf he liked.

The fact that Nori and Oin were _positive_ that Dwalin would never get in Thorin’s bed didn’t help much, because what mattered was that _Balin_ thought it possible, and that old crafty thing always knew about these things. If you were wise, you never bet against Balin where romance was concerned, because he was the only dwarf in the entire world who actually _noticed_ when things were happening.

-Yes, but the wizard is of a different mind.- Nori pointed out. -And if Dwalin has any sense, he won’t go for your uncle, not after all Thorin has done to him.-

Oin nodded grimly, and Bifur pulled a face, quickly signing: -Dwalin has other in mind. Thorin has other in mind. No risk.-

-Still gonna tell Dwalin about it- Fili angrily answered. -But you all have my blessing to ensure that Thorin is shagging either Bilbo or Bofur by the time we get to Erebor. I’m turning you all into Lords if it happens.-

-Deal- Nori replied with a large grin that would have worried Fili, had he been in a better state of mind.

But he had better things to do than wonder if he was been manipulated by the company’s least trustworthy member (he knew he was. _Everybody_ was. Just being around Nori meant you were part of his plan, one way or another).

* * *

 

Dwalin was easy enough to find. He was outside with Kili and Ori, enjoying the morning sun in the inner court, the three of them chatting merrily, as if the two young ones hadn’t just contracted a marriage that both their families would disapprove, as if Dwalin wasn’t in danger of being courted by Thorin (a perspective which should have made anyone sensible run away in terror).

But of course, Dwalin probably didn’t know yet. He seemed to dislike Thorin so much that the idea must never have crossed his mind, no matter what Balin had in mind about them. And that, Fili decided, was his chance. If he managed to convince Dwalin to stop being an idiot and to start a relationship with him (not even courting if the older dwarf wasn’t ready for it yet, but some healthy shagging now and then, because they both needed it) then Thorin would never think of trying to hook up with Dwalin, not even after both Bilbo and Bofur had rejected him.

Thorin wasn’t always as good a dwarf as one might have wished him to be, but he would never do anything that might hurt his nephews, not willingly at least. Probably out of guilt for convincing their father to join the war where he had died, but still. He did try to protect them and to be good to them, as much as he could.

“Hey, Fee, come here!” his brother called him, dragging him away from his thoughts. “Why are you starring at us like that? Still not fully awake?”

“More like still not used to the idea that you went and got married,” Fili grumbled, sitting on the grass between Kili and Dwalin. “I can’t believe you did something so stupid, and I can’t believe i had a part to play in it. What are you going to say when everyone asks you where your new braids come from?”

“How much do you want to bet that no one will notice them?” Ori asked with a cold smile.

Fili almost protested that things like that were rather hard to miss, but Ori _did_ seem very confident, and if he was anything like Nori when it came to betting… Better not risk it.

“If there’s any trouble, I will tell everyone I knew nothing of it, and I’ll let you two deal with it,” Fili warned them. “I’ve got enough problems of my own as it is, I’m done with dealing with yours.”

“You’ve got problems?” Kili immediately asked, sounding worried. “What sort? Why didn’t you tell me? Can I help?”

“ _You_ can’t, but _others_ might,” Fili replied, glancing at Dwalin before turning again to his brother, trying to look as innocent as he could. “It’s a terrible business, but I’ve been promised something, and I feel that I have been _more_ than patient in waiting for it, but I might soon lose hope of ever getting it.”

“Some people just can’t be trusted to keep to their word,” Dwalin flatly answered. “If ye want, I can try to help ye, laddie. It’s amazing how quick people do what they’ve got to do, once I’m involved.”

“Why, Dwalin, _thank you_ for this most generous offer! I gladly accept. Kili, _Kili’s husband_ , do you mind if I borrow Dwalin for a moment?”

Kili quickly assured him that they didn’t mind at all, looking more worried than ever, but Ori only rolled his eyes at the obviousness of it all. It rather pleased Fili, for some reason. Kili was very nice, and not half as stupid as people though him to be. But he was still a little slow sometimes, and one might hope that Ori’s presence would balance that a little.

But one would hope later, because one had better things to do at the moment.

Such as dragging Dwalin behind the house, and kissing him as soon as they were out of view. It was everything he'd hoped it would, Dwalin's beard coarse under his fingers and his lips deliciously rough. It took the warrior a few seconds to overcome his surprise, but he soon put his arms around the prince to drag him closer.

It was _perfect_. Well worth the wait, Fili decided when they separated, breathless, and if Dwalin's smile was anything to go by, the feeling was mutual.

“Ye're mighty impatient, princeling.”

“On the contrary, I think I've been nothing but patient, master Dwalin. I've had my eyes on you for _two years_ after all, and I'm only kissing you _now_. I think I've been _so_ patient that I deserve a reward.”

Dwalin laughed. “And what might that reward be?”

“Another kiss of course,” Fili answered, standing on his tiptoes to claim it.

He felt the warrior's chuckle more than he heard it, but it was clear that Dwalin had no problem with the situation.

* * *

 

Fili wasn't sure how long they kissed like that. Longer than they should, probably, because he was noisily reminded by his stomach that he'd barely eaten since the night before. His body was nothing but a vile traitor.

Dwalin laughed at that. “Time to get ye some food, princeling, or ye'll soon be as grumpy as yer uncle.”

“I would appreciate if you did not compare me to my uncle when we're making out, thanks,” Fili joked.

It was a joke. It had been meant as a _joke_. Yet Dwalin instantly tensed, and took a step away from him. That wasn't good, Fili decided. That wasn't good at all, and he had to do something quickly, because Dwalin looked like he might go back to treating him coldly for no reason at all.

Grabbing the older dwarf collar, Fili pulled him down for another kiss, a slightly desperate one this time, but after a few seconds the warrior's entire body seemed to relax. Crisis avoided.

But of course, Balin and Thorin had to choose that moment to find them.

 **"What are you two** _ **doing**_ **?"** the king yelled. " ** _Dwalin_**!"

Fili quickly pushed away the older dwarf, but it was too late. Thorin was pale with rage and looked ready to murder Dwalin, striding towards him. Fili immediatly moved to shield the warrior, earning himself a glare from his uncle.

"Move, Fili."

"We weren't doing anything _wrong_ , and you have no right to be angry. I'm not moving until you've calmed down."

"Nothing wrong? Didn't I forbid you to pursue any relationship with him? Didn't you blatantly disobey my orders? If _that_ isn't doing something wrong..."

"It's not," Fili insisted. "What are you afraid of, that he's too old for me? I'm _in love_ , uncle, I'd have thought that, considering _recent events_ , _you_ of all people would understand that!"

"You're _what_?" the three older dwarves asked as one.

 _Oh_ , Fili thought.

That _wasn't_ what he'd meant to say. He was in loved of course, had been for a long while, probably since they had first met. But he was clever enough to know that right after the first kiss was a little early to go around making grand declarations of affection. And in front of _both_ their families, too.

He did not even dare to look at Dwalin. He knew the other dwarf liked him at least, but he wasn't sure there was more than that, and after the rough morning he'd had, he wasn't ready to face rejection.

"Go back inside, Fili," Thorin ordered coldly. "I need to talk to Dwalin."

"I'm not..."

"I'll make sure Thorin doesn't harm my brother," Balin quickly intervened. "Go back inside, laddie, there's things we need to discuss without you."

"I don't see why I shouldn't be there," Fili protested. "I have a feeling that conversation will concern me a great deal, and..."

"Go inside!" Thorin snarled. "Now. This is an order from your king, and if you do not obey, I am sending you home to your mother. So go. Inside."

Fili hesitated. He hadn't seen his uncle that angry since... probably since the goblin king had threatened to torture Ori, probably. And he sounded serious about sending him away, but abandoning Dwalin was not an option.

"Don't be stupid, lad," Dwalin told him, his voice cold and distant. "Do as yer uncle say. He won't harm me. He _needs_ me for his damn quest."

The prince frowned, more worried than before. But if Dwalin thought it was safe, then he had to go. Still, he turned to his uncle one last time.

"Don't hurt him. He's done nothing wrong, and everything that happened, happened because _I_ started it and because _I_ wanted it. So don't you _dare_ to hurt him."

Thorin only grunted in answer. It would have to do, Fili decided, and he left the three older dwarves to talk. As soon as he was out of view, the shouting started, but he forced himself to keep walking until he was inside.

He didn't feel hungry anymore.

 


	14. There are good days, and then there's today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if Fili had thought he'd been having a bad morning, he was wrong. The rest of the day is far worse.

Thorin and Balin eventually joined everyone for lunch, but Dwalin didn't. Fili, who had been entirely unable to eat up to that point, felt a little sick, and this time he was sure it had nothing to do with his drinking of the night before. He started getting up, ready to go ask Thorin where his warrior was, but Bilbo and Kili, who both sat at his sides, caught his arms and forced him back down.

I don't know what you've done to uncle,” Kili said, “but I'd advise you to not add to it."

If you worry about Dwalin's absence, I can try to help,” Bilbo added. “No one will find it suspicious if I decide to bring him food, since everyone knows that's all I'm good at. And your uncle, for some reason, doesn't like to question what I do these days, so let's take advantage of it, hm?”

“But...”

"If you're worried, I can go with Bilbo,” Ori offered, leaning over Kili to make himself heard without raising his voice. “Everyone knows he's like a brother to me, even Thorin will respect that, and if there's any problem, I'm probably the best one to help, considering that Balin has... chosen another side. But you've got to stay out of... whatever is happening, at least for now. Can you do that?”

“I...”

“Your uncle would never hurt him,” Bilbo assured him. “Not with how few of us there is, not when Dwalin is his best warrior, and someone he clearly cares a lot about.”

Fili sniggered darkly. “Uncle _hates_ him.”

“Oh, yes, about as much as he hates _me_ ,” the hobbit replied. “Look, we'll do our best and we'll tell you what's going on, but stay here and don't... don't do anything your uncle would do.”

The prince nodded, and watched them stand up and gather some food in a plate. As they had said, no one asked them anything, and most of the dwarves even looked away, sensing that something wasn't quite right. Thorin was the only one to follow their every movements, before turning back to Bofur to offer him some more cream. The unfortunate toy-maker has looked terribly uncomfortable since the first moment the king had sat next to him (Fili felt sorry for him, and wondered it Nori and Oin were behind the fact that he hadn't been sitting closer to Bilbo. Probably. Poor Bofur.)

At least, Thorin seemed rather nervous too. He was trying to hide it, and it was quite likely that to the rest of the company, he looked quite calm and composed, but Fili knew him well enough to see he was anything _but_ relaxed. The young prince wondered if his uncle's nervosity was due to anger or guilt. Anger was more likely, but the way he was was avoiding to look anywhere near Fili did seem a bit like guilt.

* * *

 

Bilbo came back when they were all done eating (all but Fili, who just nibbled at the honey cakes whenever his brother would look at him) and he went straight back to the princes.

"He's well. I told you, your uncle would _never_ hurt him."

"But?"

Bilbo appeared to hesitate.

" _But_ Ori is still talking to him, about something Dwalin refused to share in my presence, and I think you should leave him alone for now. It's always hard to say with you dwarves, but I think he was rather distressed, to be honest. I don't know what's going on, but it's a bit sad. You two were so very _sweet_ together."

In other circumstances, Fili would have objected that, considering both him and Dwalin were strong and fearsome dwarven warriors, _sweet_ was not the adjective anyone should have chosen to describe them. However he was currently too worried about what Dwalin could have to say to Ori that no one else might hear. These two were close, close as brothers indeed, and everyone, Fili included, had taken bets on whether they'd have a ceremony to actually become sworn brothers before they'd arrive in Erebor.

There was a serious betting problem in this company, he decided. He'd have to do something about it. They were serious, glorious heroes on a quest to reclaim their magnificent, long-lost kingdom.

Betting about every single thing that was happening was _not_ a thing glorious heroes were supposed to do.

"Don't worry," Kili said, putting an arm around his brother's shoulders and dragging him closer. "If there's any problem, Ori will make it right."

Fili forced a smile. He wasn't entirely convinced about that. Ori was a good lad, and certainly less useless than Fili had always thought him to be, but whatever had happened between Thorin and Dwalin was probably beyond his powers.

* * *

 

In the late afternoon, Gandalf came back, proving himself a blessed distraction. Dwalin and Ori were still nowhere to be seen, and Balin seemed to have left the house too, which Fili didn't like at all.

But the wizard arrived, requesting food and attention, both of which the dwarves and Bilbo gave him. He told them he'd tried to follow Beorn's tracks (and _failed_ , Fili noted) before quickly coming back before dark.

"Speaking of which, I see that we're not all inside," Gandalf noted after a look around. "I'm not entirely sure which ones of you are missing, but night will soon fall, and it would be wise for everyone to be safely back inside."

"I could go look for them," Bilbo suggested. "Bofur, would you come with me? We'll cover more ground if we both look for them."

“Good idea,” the dwarf answered, promptly escaping from Thorin's side. “Don't want 'em to get in trouble. Let's go quick.”

Had he been in a better mood, Fili might have smiled upon seeing them leaving together. He seriously doubted that they'd cover any ground at all, not when they hadn't had a single moment alone in days. He almost envied them. He had a very bad feeling about his chances to be alone with Dwalin in the near future.

Kili, who had not left his side a single time during the entire afternoon, hugged him tighter.

“It'll be okay, Fee. Dwalin is even more stupid about you than you are about him. It'll be okay, and... Oh! They're back!”

The entire company turned to the door as their five companions came in again. Bilbo and Bofur were first, looking worried and quickly went to a remote corner of the house. Balin and Ori were next, the first looking grave but content, the second angrier than Fili had ever seen him. But the prince paid in brother-in-law no mind, because after him came Dwalin.

Dwalin who looked as grim as he had during the first days of the quest. Dwalin who glared at Thorin, but walked towards Fili.

“We need to talk, lad.”

“Now?”

“In the kitchen. _Now_.”

Fili felt his brother's grip on him tighten briefly before disappearing. Taking a deep breath, the blond prince nodded, and followed the warrior in the kitchen. There were a few dogs in there, as well as a pony, but they fled as soon as Dwalin entered, and they were left alone.

“Should I close the door?” Fili asked.

“No need. It'll be quick. This needs to stop. Whatever it was ye were doing with me, it has to stop.”

Fili felt like he had taken a punch to the guts. It wasn't entirely unexpected, if he were honest, but he had thought that Dwalin would look a little more sorry about it. He had been prepared to argue and plead his cause, but faced with such coldness, the young prince didn't know how to react.

“You're saying that as if it were all my doing,” he grumbled. “As far as I remember, you were rather happy to play along, weren't you?”

“Was playing, as ye said,” Dwalin replied dryly. “Ye falling in love wasn't part of the plan. Better to stop now. Didn't mean to hurt ye. But ye're a young lad, ye'll get over it in the blink of an eye.”

“Is Thorin making you say that? Or Balin? Look, I don't know what they've told you, but I don't care what my uncle think, I like you, I _want_ you, even if you're not in love with me. I can make you fall in love with me, we can take our time, just don't... don't reject me because of my _uncle_ , please!”

For a split second, Dwalin seemed just as desperate as Fili felt. But the prince blinked, and the warrior was colder than ever.

“I'm rejecting ye 'cause I don't _want_ ye, boy. Accept it, and stop _bothering_ me. Understood?”

Fili stared at him blankly, trying to find something, anything to say.

“I asked ye if you understood, child!”

“I... I do. I _understand_ , master Dwalin. I was... I'm sorry my attentions were so unwanted. It's... I'll leave you in peace now. I'm really sorry.”

Dwalin nodded grimly, and without another look he left the kitchen.

Once he was alone, Fili fought back tears.

He should never have gotten up that morning.


	15. acting like a prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili does his best to remain strong. And when all else fails, he can at least count on his brother

Fili was a prince of Erebor.

A prince of Erebor did not cry over the loss of something he’d never even had.

A prince of Erebor did not pin for somebody who claimed not to want them.

A prince of Erebor did not let his pain show in front of his subjects, no matter how close to him they were.

A prince of Erebor did not let his emotions get in the way of duty.

Dwalin had made his choice, and if whatever threats Thorin and Balin had made against him were stronger than his affection for Fili, then _good riddance_.

* * *

 

Once he had taken a few moments to calm himself, the prince walked back into the main room, ignoring the curious stares, and he sat back with his brother. Kili opened his mouth to ask something, but Fili raised a hand to silence him.

“I do not want to talk about, because there is _nothing_ to talk about. I’ve made a mistake, there have been consequences, I’ll accept it and move on. Is that clear?”

“It’s clear. Do… You’ve barely eaten today, do you want me to get you something?”

“Not hungry.”

Kili hesitated, and scowled.

“I’m getting you food,” the youngest prince decided. “And you’ll eat it, whether you like it or not. And if you don’t, I’ll make _Bilbo_ make you eat it, and you know how he gets about keeping people well fed.”

Fili glared at his brother. He wasn’t hungry, and he did not need to be taken care of. What he needed, _really_ needed, was to be around things that he could break into very, very small pieces. Orcs, for example. He was less angry than he was hurt, but anger was a thing he _could_ allow himself to show, and so he tried to cultivate it.

His stomach then reminded him quite loudly that anger and sorrow were all very well, but that he hadn’t had much of a breakfast that day, and that said meal had been his first decent one in a long while.

“Fine, bring me food,” he sighed. “And something to drink, please. But no alcohol.”

Not that the idea of getting drunk didn’t have its appeal, but he still remembered far too well his hangover of the morning, and he knew if he drank again, he wouldn’t have Dwalin to help him with the worst of it.

He barely felt the taste of the cream and the honey cakes as he ate them, but Kili watched him closely until he had entirely emptied his plate. Once he was done with that, Fili went to bed. It was still early, and he doubted he could sleep, but it was better than having everyone looking at him like he might break down into tears at any moment.

* * *

 

Kili joined him not long after. Without a word, he laid down by his brother, pulling him close in his arms, as Fili had often done for him when they were younger.

Fili felt something broke in him then and, safe against his little brother, he finally started crying, sobbing silently until he fell asleep, Kili softly petting his hair to calm him.

* * *

 

Fili was the first to wake up, but Kili soon joined him. That almost worried the older prince: Kili wasn’t the sort to rise early, when he wasn’t getting secretly married. Or consoling his brother, apparently.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Kili asked, handing him a cake.

“Well, I don’t have a hangover, so that’s an improvement over the latest morning I’ve had, you know.”

“I meant…”

“I know what you meant. I’m… I just… I’ll be okay, Kee. He said it was just… He wasn’t serious, that’s all.”

“Yes he was!” Kili protested. “Fee, I’ve seen him and he really cares a lot for you, and Ori said that he _loves_ you! It’s… I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sure it’s not what you think it is. Maybe he thinks he’s too old for you? He’s just stupidly noble enough to do something like that.”

“You are the _last_ dwarf allowed to call anyone stupidly noble, Kee. And, look, it’s… it makes sense, if he doesn’t want me. He’s always been so reluctant, I suppose I just… forced him to give me what little marks of affection he gave me.”

Kili snorted.

“If you believe that, then _you’re_ the idiot out of the two of us.”

“Yes, well, what _else_ am I supposed to believe?” Fili asked angrily. “That a dwarf who likes me and know I love him is for some mysterious reason choosing to push me away? Things like that happen in your stupid husband’s stories maybe, but this is _real life_ , and in real life when someone tells you they don’t want you, it’s because, _surprise_ , they _actually do not want you_!”

“But maybe...”

“Maybe _nothing_ ,” Fili cut him. “Look, it's okay. _I'm_ okay. I'll have a rough few days, but there's plenty to keep me busy, so don't worry. If it had happened at home, I'd probably be devastated, but we're on this quest, I _can't_ afford to break down.”

Just as he had the night before, Kili took his brother in his arms, and Fili allowed himself to be cuddled for a moment.

“I won't talk about it again,” the younger prince promised. “But if you want to talk about it, I'm here, you know that, right? Any time you need me, I'm here.”

“Any time, really? What if you're with Ori and...”

“ _Almost_ any time. You disturb me when I'm with him, and I'll punch you in the face, I _swear_.”

Fili forced a laugh.

“Fine. I'll come to you if I ever need to confide with someone, unless you are too happy to care about my unfortunate sentimental life.”

Kili rolled his eyes.

“Stop talking like an elf.”

“Stop _looking_ like an elf.”

“Troll face.”

“Tree fucker.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, sorry?  
> I just really wanted to write about Fili trying hard to not show that he's hurt, and some brotherly feelings with Kili, because these two are just too cute owo


	16. Prince Anär's axe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The company leaves Beorn behind, and songs of dubious taste are sung.

Beorn came back that day, and they left the following one. Some of the dwarves regretted not being able to rest for longer, but Fili was grateful for that quick departure. It meant there was a lot to do, and he had to keep himself busy. Beorn appreciated his help in preparing the ponies, and in amost everything else. Only when it came to their provisions did the prince leave, knowing that Bombur and Bilbo would be better at it than him, and even then he took advantage of his free time to sharpen every blade he had managed to save from the goblins.

He also made some new arrows for Kili, found stones for Ori's slingshot, and showed Bilbo how to properly hold his little sword.

He did fall asleep in his brother's arms again their last night there, too exhausted to do anything but fall on his bed after dinner.

Beorn gave them plenty of good advice before they left, and Fili wondered how much of it they would actually follow. He also gave them food, water, and ponies to carry them to the edge of the forest. After one last meal, they bid him goodbye and started toward Mirkwood.

Nervous as they were at first, it did not take long for the sun to brighten their mood. Bofur soon started singing a silly song about a hedgehog that couldn't be buggered. Bilbo and a few of the most respectable dwarves turned bright pink, but the rest of the company cheerfully joined in. Even Fili and Kili sang with the others and they both had excuses to be cross. The first for reasons he deemed obvious, and the second because his husband had declined riding by his side, instead choosing to stay near Dwalin. Fili had half a mind to brand Ori a traitor, expect the little scholar owed him no friendship.

At least, the song was fun.

“That was a very _original_ ballad you gave us here, master Bofur,” Thorin said once it was over. “I do not believe I had ever heard it before.”

“Probably not the sort of things they sing at court, no,” Bofur replied with a wicked grin. “But we can't all sing 'bout treasures and lost kingdoms, eh?”

“I can sing about many other things, master Bofur. Do you know _the tale of Nordri and Sudri_?”

“Who _doesn't_? It's a duet, though. Who's going to sing it with ye? _Dwalin_?”

The king tensed, but retained a polite smile.

“I was actually thinking you might sing Nordri's part. You do rather look the part, after all.”

Bofur stared at the king for a few seconds, then burst out laughing.

“Didn't know ya had a sense of humour! But I won't take the bait. It's a sad song, and today's a nice day. I'm merry, and I intend to remain so, if ye don't mind. Anyone's up for a round of _Prince Anär's axe_? Now _that's_ a song for a sunny day!”

There were a few sniggers here and there. Suggesting that song in the company of actual princes was almost lese-majesty, not that Fili minded. He'd sung it himself once or twice, and it was a funny song, though perhaps not a good one at the moment, with Thorin's love life attracting so much attention.

Balin seemed to think the same, and he expressed his displeasure at the idea, supported loudly by Dori, Gloin and, more surprisingly, Bombur. Bofur grumbled about their lack of humour, but he started another song, about an orc stuffing an elf with apples.

No one complained about _that_ one, strangely.

* * *

 

Their good humour lasted as long as the sun shined, but as darkness fell, so did their mood. There were no more songs, and they all stayed close to the fire. Beorn had warned them they had to go again close to the goblin's territories, and now that night was there, they couldn't ignore the proximity of their foes.

Fili did his best not to let the sudden gloom get to him, and he forced himself to check on the ponies, to make sure the unusual strain had not hurt them. He was soon joined there by Bilbo, who had cut an apple in tiny bits and was giving those to their mounts.

“You're spoiling them, Mr Baggins,” the prince teased him. “And giving away our provisions, too.”

“Oh, they more than deserve it, don't they? And it was a good enough excuse to talk to you.”

“Talk to me?”

The hobbit nodded. “It's about the songs that Bofur and Thorin talked about that afternoon. You all laughed when they mentioned them, and I was wondering... well, I've never heard of those, you know?”

“Oh, I see. Well, _Prince Anär's axe_ is about a prince with a long... _hammer_ , if you know what I mean.”

The hobbit frowned.

“You know, his sword?” Fili tried. “His pillar? His other bone? _His great dagger_?”

Bilbo's face suddenly illuminated.

“Oh! You mean his _penis_!”

The prince felt himself blushed, and quickly looked around to make sure no one had heard that. He did not want anyone to think he was offering anything improper to their hobbit. Thorin and Bofur were dangerous enemies.

“I can't believe you said that aloud!” He grumbled. “And then you have the nerve to complain about our lack of propriety!”

“Penis is just a word, and it's a medical one, I don't see what's improper about it. It's better than pillar, anyway. You dwarves certainly aren't modest. But fine. That one was a song about a... well-gifted prince. Is that why Balin was so angry at Bofur for wanting to sing it?”

“It's more a matter of what Anär does with his axe, see? The prince's travelling to get married, and he has an escort with him, and before the end of the journey, he's... shared the bed of everyone going with him, even the old and ugly cook.”

“ _Oh_.”

Even with the falling darkness, Fili could see the hobbit's cheek colouring quickly, and he couldn't help a grin.

“I see why the others didn't approve,” Bilbo eventually said. “That wasn't very nice of Bofur, not with... things being what they are. And what about the other one, the... tale of Nori and Suli, I think it was?

“It's _Nordri and Sudri,_ ” Fili corrected him, smiling as he imagined Nori playing the role of Nordri. “That's an old classic, you're not a dwarf if you haven't heard and sung it. It's the sort of thing old people will sing at night in winter, when everyone is around the fire and it's too cold to do anything else. Nordri was a silversmith of great talent, and people say the only thing more beautiful than his work was Nordri himself.”

“So _that's_ why Bofur laughed.”

Fili nodded. He didn't mention that it was not rare for lovers to compare their beloved to Nordri. Better let the the hobbit see only the joke, and not alert him to Thorin's suspicious behaviour.

“Nordri was happy with his craft,” he explained, “and did not wish to marry. But Sudri, who was a great warrior, fell in love with him, and she decided to seduce him. It took her years, because they both had other business to attend, and Nordri really wasn't interested at first, but in the end he agreed to marry her. Sadly, the king then sent him to work for an elven prince, and he was killed on the way there. Sudri was left alone after that, and she never smiled again.”

“Oh. It is a sad story, indeed...”

Fili shrugged. He'd known that tale for so long that he no longer thought it sad or happy, it just was. He wasn't even particularly fond of it, though he knew Kili adored it.

That _could_ have explained his decision to get married so hurriedly. He probably didn't want to end up like Sudri. Fili couldn't really blame him for it.

“I can't help but think that Thorin suggesting that song is just as bad as what Bofur did, though,” Bilbo noted. “Oh, they're nothing but children, the both of them. Sometimes I wonder why I love th...”

He stopped abruptly and darted a worried glance at Fili who pretended to be very interested in a knot in a pony's mane.

“I mean that I care for them a lot,” Bilbo quickly explained. “Nothing more!”

“I don't doubt it, Mr Baggins.”

“Well, of course I love _Bofur_. But I only care for your uncle as... as a friend, though he doesn't treat me as one. But that's all there is to it!”

“It certainly is, Mr Baggins.”

“Glad to see we agreed,” the hobbit said with a small nod. “Well, then. I'll. I'll go back with the others, before your brother eats all we have, hm? And I suggest you do the same, my boy. You've barely eaten at all lately, we can't have that. You'll never be a strong warrior if you don't eat!”

“You sound like my mother.”

“I'll take that as a compliment, thank you. Someone who survived with you, your brother, and your uncle, well, that someone must have nerves of steel, and a great moral strength. Now go eat, or I'm telling Bombur you don't like his cooking!”

Fili snorted, amused by the little one's bossiness, but he obeyed all the same.

Bilbo really _did_ sound like his mother after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are a Discworld fan, the Hegdehog Song should be familiar to you.  
> The song about a troll stuffing an elf is an actual thing that exists in French http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nloAYB9jr54 (it's from an audio series following a band of very, very bad adventurers on a quest) (I thought the dwarves would enjoy that song)


	17. the edge of the forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gandalf ask for a favour before he leaves

It took them four day to reach Mirkwood. They arrived before the forest on tha fourth afternoon, and decided to not go in until morning, to rest and get water one last time.

To everyone's horror, Gandalf announced that he would not follow them into the forest. They all cried and protested, all of them certain that the wizard would stay with them for the rest of the adventure, but he would not change his mind.

“I have business of my own to attend,” he declared firmly, “and they cannot wait any longer. I made myself late enough as it is, keeping you company for longer than I had thought. And I'm not leaving you alone, really, you will have Mr Baggins with you! I have told you before that he has more about him than you guess, and you will find that out before long. So cheer up!”

But in spite of all his encouragements, they remained gloomy for the rest of the evening, and Bilbo probably even more so than any of the others. He certainly did not like the idea of being appointed as replacement of the wizard, and Fili didn't blame him for that.

Not that Gandalf had been all that useful, really. Beside having friends all over Middle Earth, he hadn't done much for them in the end. Of course, the hobbit too was quite good at making friends, but that wasn't a talent that would be of much use in the forest, was it?

But Fili would not allow himself to brood. He had to keep busy, because any dark thoughts about their journey might lead to dark thoughts on _other subjects_ , and he couldn't afford that. Not when Dwalin seemed to be doing perfectly fine and hadn't so much as _looked_ to him since that night.

So the prince went to take care of the ponies, as he did every night. It was a perfectly legitimate thing to do, after all, and no one seemed particularly surprised by his doing it.

He, on the other hand, was surprised when Gandalf joined him.

“Can I help you, mister Gandalf?”

“It might be that you can, master dwarf. I can't help but notice that Bilbo has grown to trust you greatly as of late.”

“Please tell me you're not taking bets about me and him. I've had it with everyone's bets, I'm warning you, and _you_ of all people shouldn't be having fun with things like that. It's not right to take amusement in people's sentimental lives like that!”

Gandalf had the decency to look a little ashamed.

“We all have our fault, young prince. These games are mine. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about, not directly at least. No, what I meant was that, as far as I can tell, you are now the closest thing that our Mr Baggins has to a true friend in the company. Don't you agree?”

“We've talked once or twice, and I like him well enough, but...”

“He told you about Bofur,” the wizard reminded him. “He still hasn't told me about it, though I've known him far longer. It also seems he comes to you now when something about dwarves is puzzling him. Not to mention that he tried his best to help when there was that... problem with Dwalin.”

“Maybe we do get along very well,” Fili admitted, trying to ignore the stab of pain in his chest at the mention of Dwalin. “But what of it?”

“Bilbo Baggins is a talented fellow, and I was sincere in claiming that he will surprise all of you, more than he already has. But until then, it would be a great relief to me if you could keep an eye on him for me. I do not think it will be necessary, but I would be grateful all the same.”

“Then I'll do it. Thank your for your trust, I suppose? And of course I imagine I'm not supposed to tell him about that, am I?”

Gandalf shook his head.

“Better not to. Hobbits may not be like dwarves, but they have their pride all the same, and he might think I'm doubting him, which I am _not_. I am only... taking precautions.”

The wizard did not say more than that, but his eyes darted toward Thorin, and Fili knew that it was not the darkness of the wood that worried Gandalf. A part of him thought that, really, the old man should have thought of that before betting on Bilbo taking the crownless king to bed, but it was too late to change things now.

* * *

 

The following morning was a sad and grim one, as they said goodbye to Gandalf and their ponies. Fili wasn't sure which he would miss most. After four days of carefully caring for their mounts, he had become very attached to them. And _they_ did not mess with everyone's love life, though he did suspect that Nori's pony had had a thing for Bombur's, considering he always found them together in the morning, and when the lot of them went away, they galloped side by side.

This was no longer a quest, this was a damn elfic romance poem.

And along with Thorin, he was the only one who was going nowhere with it.

For all that the company had complained about Gandalf's manners during his time with them, and in spite of his tendency to always arrive at the last moment to save the day, they were all sad to see him go, and told him so. The old man seemed rather affected too, though whether that was because he had grown attached to them or because he feared to go where he was expected, they could not say.

Still, he repeated all of Beorn's advice to them, insisting in particular that they should not leave the path, and then disappeared away to the South.

A sort of gloom fell onto the company, but Thorin soon shook out of it, and they all followed him into the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a terribly short chapter, and I'm not all that happy with it.  
> To be honest, I'm feeling a little blocked with this story at the moment, mostly because I never really made plans for what happens in Mirkwood...D: So updates might be slow until I figure out what to write about their trip.
> 
> I am considering writing a sort of flash-back about Dwalin, though, which miiiiight explain his behaviour toward Fili? I've had that in mind for a while and I didn't know where to put it so...


	18. Dwalin's story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori hates that forest, and thinks again of a conversation with Dwalin.

Ori hated that forest. He had never liked them as a rule, but he hated _that one_ even more than any other before. His recent bad memories involving trees might be to blame for that, of course, though the other had been less close to... immediate peril than he had been when they'd climbed in that tree to escape the orcs, and yet they seemed equally affected by Mirkwood. Something about these woods made them feel watched, and the air felt unmoving. Sometimes Ori feared he might choke.

It would not have been so bad if he had been with Kili. Among other things, the prince made him feel _safe_ , and he always found a way to distract him from whatever bad things were happening around them. It had always been like that, and Ori hope it would never change.

But Kili would not leave his brother's side, not since the whole... incident, a few days earlier. And while Ori rather liked the oldest prince (bit of an ass sometimes, but less than his uncle, _and_ he was clever, _and_ he was kinder than the small scholar had ever expected), he could not be anywhere near him at the moment, or he might... tell him things.

Things he had promised to keep secret.

Dwalin had been quite adamant about it, that day. No one was to know of it. His telling Ori was a proof of his most absolute trust and no one, especially not Fili, was to know of it.

* * *

 

_Bilbo and him had found the warrior behind Beorn's house, exactly where Fili had said he'd seen him for the last time. Dwalin looked..._

_broken_

_Ori could find no other word for it. The only times his friend had looked like that before, it had been when recalling the horrors of Azanulbizar. No matter what Balin and Thorin had told him, their words had to have been designed to hurt and harm._

_"I don't want to talk," Dwalin snapped when he saw them approaching. "Go away."_

_"We're not the sort to leave a friend in pain," Bilbo protested. "And you are our friend. It might not be much, but if there's anything we can do to..."_

_"Ye can't do a thing, halfling. It doesn't concern ye. Leave me alone."_

_"Well, if it doesn't concern him, it concerns me," Ori declared firmly. "We are **friends** , mister Dwalin, and you said yourself you felt for me as a brother. And what sort of brother would I be to see you suffer and be badly treated by anyone, without offering you all the comfort I can give you?"_

_"Not now, lad."_

_"_ _**Yes, now,** _ _mister Dwalin! You can send away mister Baggins if you want, but I'm not going, and that's final. It'd be like leaving Kili alone, only worse because Kili would at least always have Fili, whereas you... Well. I'd never judge mister Balin of course, and he's a very kind dwarf, and I owe him a lot. But what he seems to have done,_ __**that** _ _ _doesn't feel very fair or nice."_

_The warrior gave him a small, sad smile then, as he sometimes did when Ori made such declarations of friendship._

_"Fair enough, lad. But ye, halfling..."_

_"Oh, I think I'll go," Bilbo cut him. "I promised Fili I'd make sure you were well, and you seem to be, that's all I wanted to know. But no matter what's going on, I do hope you'll come back soon. The poor boy is very worried about you. I know it's not my place to say that, but he likes you terribly, and though I don't really know what is going on here, I must say that I'll be **terribly** cross if you or anyone else hurt him in any way."_

“ _Is that a threat, halfling?”_

“ _Only if you have any intention to harm my friend, **dwarf**.”_

_With that, Bilbo gave a firm little nod and left them, looking very decisive as he walked away. Ori would have found it almost funny if the others hadn't told him that Bilbo had killed an orc to protect Thorin, whom everyone knew he was in love with. Hobbits. Cuddly, but dangerous._

“ _I'll have to be careful around him,” Dwalin said with a half smile, echoing Ori's thoughts. “He'll stab me in my sleep with that toy of his if I'm not careful.”_

“ _Do you plan on hurting Fili, then?”_

“ _I've done it already, lad. Should never had gotten close to him, Balin's right.”_

_Ori frowned. He knew that Balin, for unknown reason, firmly disapproved of his brother's interest for the prince. He also knew that Thorin too disapproved, for reason equally unknown but probably very similar._

“ _You **love** Fili,” the young scholar pointed out. “And there's no doubt that he likes you too. He hasn't really made it secret, has he? So I fail to see why there's a problem.”_

“ _It's more complicated than that, lad.”_

“ _So you've said, mister Dwalin. You've even said it often, actually, but you've never said why.”_

“ _Not my hour of glory,” the warrior sighed, looking away. “It's not that I don't trust ye, lad. It's just... I like ye, and I don't want ye to think ill of me.”_

“ _I won't force you if you don't want to talk of it, mister Dwalin. But if Balin and Thorin know and they're against it, wouldn't you have also someone who knows and is convinced that nothing you can say will make you unfit for Fili? Unless you're secretly his father. That's where I'd draw the line.”_

_That made Dwalin grin, if nothing else._

“ _I'm not, lad. And I'll tell ye, but I'll ask ye to not repeat it to a single soul. I'm sure half the company knows or has heard things, but I'd rather not have them sure of things.”_

“ _I won't breathe a word, I promise. On my honour.”_

_Dwalin nodded, as if to acknowledge Ori's declaration, but he remained silent, fidgeting and refusing to meet the younger one's eyes._

“ _If you'd rather not talk...” the young one started._

“ _No, I... I'm just not proud of it all, lad, and the wound isn't as healed as I once thought. But I... when I was young, in Erebor, Thorin and I were involved.”_

“ _When you say involved...”_

“ _I mean lovers, yes,” Dwalin admitted grimly. “My brother was Thorin's advisor and teacher. 'Royal babysitter' he called it, but he was more than glad to do it. Good job. Didn't take long for me to meet Thorin and... you've seen him, lad. You know how he affects people. Imagine him a hundred years younger, and the prettiest damn face a dwarf had ever had. Half the court was in love with him, and out of all that, he picked me. There's nothing I wouldn't have done for him.”_

“ _And what would **he** have done for you?”_

“ _He took me to his bed, that's all I dared to ask at first,” Dwalin sighed. “He didn't love me, not at first anyway, but I was... convenient. During the days we trained together, and at night we'd do whatever he'd want to do. Lasted like that for a couple years, then the dragon came. Thorin changed after that, in good and bad. Treated me as more than a bed warmer, for one thing. I was more in love than ever, and I think he started to actually like me. He trusted me, anyway, and from him, that's even more precious than love I suppose. After Dis married and had Fili, he started talking about taking me as a consort.”_

“ _So he did love you, then?”_

“ _No, probably not. Just needed someone he could count on, someone safe who'd never betray him. I was **reliable**. I knew I'd never be more than that, more than that person who stood by him and supported him in everything. I was good at taking his side, even when he was a bloody idiot. So many people were doubting him because he was so **young** , and his grand-father was half mad, everyone knew it, and his father was... **fragile**. Thorin had to be strong, and he needed someone to never doubt him. I was that someone. Made me so damn happy that of all the dwarves that had fled Erebor, **I** was the one he trusted. I think it made him happy too. Always hard to say with him.”_

_Ori listened, trying to imagine a younger Thorin and Dwalin, side by side against the people who doubted the young prince. It was all too easy to picture it, when even now they had sometimes had moments of complicity. They always fought together the way only very old, very close friends did. And Ori had always thought it was just that, that they had been very good friends._

_He could see how that might make things more complicated with Fili._

“ _What happened then?” the young dwarf asked. “You don't seem... quite so close now.”_

“ _Azanulbizar happened. I was... He'd asked me to keep his brother alive, and I failed him. Frerin died, and Gili too. That's... he was Fili and Kili's father. And those two good dwarves died because **I** wasn't good enough. Thorin never forgave me. Made me come to his tent after the battle, told me everything was over. I'd never be his consort. I wouldn't be his lover any more, or even his friend. Said I could stay if I wanted, but he'd rather have me leave. So I left. Too hard to stay around him like that. I loved him.”_

_Ori didn't know what to say. Part of him was furious at their king for having been so unfair and having hurt someone who cared so much about him, but mostly he was worried at how much Dwalin **still** seemed affected by it. He couldn't help but wonder if it was because the warrior still obviously cared a lot for the king that Thorin and Balin disapproved of his interest in Fili._

_Not that he suspected Dwalin to be using the young prince as a substitute. Dwalin was a kind, honourable dwarf who would never do something that **dreadful** , Ori was quite sure of it. But the others might think it possible._

“ _I'm really sorry for what happened,” he eventually said, having found no better words. “It... you didn't deserve that.”_

“ _Balin thinks I want Fili because he's like Thorin,” Dwalin replied, confirming his friend's suspicions._

“ _Well, do you?”_

_The warrior hesitated. “There's a lot of Thorin in him,” he admitted. “He's proud, and he's stubborn, and he wants what's best for those around him. But...”_

“ _But?”_

“ _He's not as proud and stubborn as his uncle, not by far,” Dwalin explained with a sad, fond smile. “And he wouldn't let that hurt those he cares for. Had he been in his uncle's place, we'd all be in Ered Luin still, because he wouldn't want to waste anyone's life on a foolish quest for a kingdom we've learnt to live without. And he's got **humour** too. Thorin never had much of that, never been very good at just relaxing and having **fun** while there was time. Fili **enjoys** life. Still remember when I met him. The lad was in prison for the night, and he flirted with me as if that was the most normal of things. It had been a while since I'd laughed that much.”_

“ _So, they're different enough, right? I wouldn't worry to much if I were you.”_

_Dwalin gave him a sad smile, and for a few second, Ori felt sure that everything was going to be right._

_Until Balin joined them._

_It was impressive, in a way._

_It only took the older dwarf a few minutes to entirely convince his brother that he would be doing Fili a great disservice if he persisted with their little affair._

“ _You want to get back at Thorin, and I can understand that, but why should the boy suffer for it? Sooner or later, you'll be forced to admit it's not him you want, but your old lover, and what will you do then? Break his heart and cast him away to go back with Thorin? You're better than that, brother, and the lad deserves better too.”_

“ _But it's not like that!” Ori tried to protest. “He loves Fili, and he doesn't want Thorin back!”_

“ _Well, I'm sad to see my brother has lied to himself so well that he's convinced you too, laddie. But don't you think I know him better than you do? And you, Dwalin, stop acting like an elf in love, and do the right thing. Put an end to your little fling with the prince before anyone gets hurt, it will be best for everyone involved.”_

_The warrior still appeared to hesitate, and Balin scowled at him._

“ _Really, brother, do you want to do to **him** what Thorin did to **you**?”_

_And with that, Ori knew that it was lost._

_Dwalin lowered his head in defeat._

_They went back inside together, and the warrior talked to the prince._

_Ori had never felt more **angry** in his life._

* * *

 

And there they were now. Stuck in a forest. Fili pretending he wasn't heart-broken. Dwalin pretending he wasn't fighting every minute of the day to go back to the prince. Balin and Thorin pretending that they didn't see the distress of the other two. And the rest of the company pretending that there was nothing going on.

Ori hated that forest.

And they had only just _got_ there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I'm feeling sorry for the characters involved when I can't even try to slip a joke in the middle of all the angst D:  
> I'll try to have a funnier chapter next time, but it's getting difficult, for obvious reasons.
> 
> Anyway, I hope those of you who had grown to hate or dislike Dwalin will forgive him his decision a little? D:


	19. Black waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin does his best. The company finds the forest's river. And everything goes wrong.

Walking in a forest was dull, Fili had decided. It had taken him about two hours to decide that.

They had been at it for three weeks.

Amazingly, since then, the forest had managed to become even _duller_. They had nothing to do but walk all day long, sleep all night, and occasionally take a meal that was never fulfilling. Every day just like the day before. Fili felt like they had been there for months, years even, no matter what Ori said. The little scholar had to have been wrong in the count he was keeping. It could not have been only twenty days.

Each day the same as the one before, only a little hungrier.

Each day the same as the one before, only a little more tired.

* * *

 

Thorin was the only one not to lose hope, and without him, they would have turned back long ago.

Admittedly, without him they would not have come at all, but that was another problem.

Still, Thorin did his best to make things as easy as possible for everyone, rearanging the bags so that the strongest in the company carried more than the others, and himself probably had one of the heaviest bags of all, even now that their provisions were running low.

But perhaps more importantly, he made conversation with them all. Thorin being who he was, this usually felt rather awkward for everyone involved, but to Fili's surprise it _worked_. Whenever a member of the company started showing signs of fatigue, the king would suddenly find his way next to them and comment on one thing or another. It could be anything from the weather (they heard the rain sometimes, though they never felt it, and they suspected that the rest of the time, the sun had to be shining), to some fashion choice or an item they carried.

Thorin seemed incredibly interested in everyone's trinkets all of a sudden, asking all sorts of questions about this button, that hair bead, these little charms.

Usually, they answered the question, going into more or less detail depending on the stories behind, and thought that Thorin was fairly strange to suddenly be so curious. They didn't notice that answering or listening to other's answers made the time pass faster, nor the fact that it would start new conversations between them.

Fili hated to admit it, but sometimes his uncle was good at what he did. And thanks to that, though they were never in a good mood as such, at least they never grew too depressed either.

It all worked very well, until Thorin noticed Ori's newest braid, and asked him about it.

"It rather look like a wedding braid, doesn't it?" the king noted.

"Does it really?" Ori squeaked. "How strange."

"You should be careful, lad. It has little importance now, since we have few chances of meeting other dwarves, but it could give the wrong impression if others saw you like this. They would think that you do not know how to tie your hair properly, and they might look down on you for it, or think you unintelligent, which would be a shame."

"I... thank you. I'll try to be careful," Ori promised, his cheeks a vivid red and his eyes fixed on the ground.

"If you have trouble with braiding, there is no shame in asking for help," Thorin kindly replied. "Dori will certainly be glad to assist you, or if you'd rather be able to talk of it with someone your age, Fili can certainly show you how to do it."

Ori blushed even harder, and mumbled something that no one heard except Thorin, who seemed satisfied by it and went away to walk by Bofur's side.

"I don't know what annoys me more," Kili grunted softly. "That uncle thinks Ori can't braid his hair properly, that he refruse to imagine that he could actually have married, or that he's seriously trying to push Ori in your arms."

"I don't see the problem. We'd make such a _lovely_ couple."

"Everyone _knows_ you don't like Ori. Everyone! Everyone, except uncle."

"Yes, well, he hasn't noticed about _any_ of the ongoing romances in the company either, so don't take it personally. He's just blind."

Though to be quite honest, Fili was starting to question his uncle's blindness. You couldn't notice the _tiny_ chain on which Bombur wore his late wife's wedding braid, and not _see_ that Bilbo and Bofur always walked side by side, or that Kili and Ori made googly eyes at each other all the time. Thorin was probably _choosing_ not to see things at this point, to preserve his self-esteem and not have to give up on his feelings just yet (regarding Bilbo) and to not have to say a thing about Kili's rushed and less than perfect wedding.

Or maybe Thorin really was an idiot with random burst of brilliance and of great observation skills.

Fili liked both theories just as much.

* * *

 

It was a few days later that they came upon the river.

Beorn had warned them against its dark waters, and before leaving, Gandalf had repeated those warnings. Even without that, they probably wouldn't have trusted it for drinks, not with such a colour, but they might have try to walk to the other bank, and that would have had terrible consequences.

In the end, the crossing was still easy enough, thanks to both Bilbo and Fili. The first managed to see a boat on the other side (it hurt the dwarves' pride that a hobbit would see better than them in the dark) and the second threw the rope that caught it and thanks to which they dragged it to them. But the boat happened to be attached, and it took all of their combined effort to move it. When the mooring rope snapped though, it took them by surprise and they all fell to the ground.

Again, Bilbo was to thank for saving the day. He was the first one back on his feet and he caught the rope before the boat could float away, but almost fell into the water in his haste. He was rescued by Thorin, who had quickly jumped to him, grabbing the rope in one hand, pushing the hobbit away from the water with the other.

Bilbo looked at him in wonder and fear, clearly expecting to be once again insulted and scolded after that. It was Thorin's usual reaction to seeing his hobbit in danger, after all. But this time, the king only asked him if he was well, and then proceeded to ignore him entirely. There were other more pressing problems to take care of, such as getting to the other side of the river.

That was easily accomplished in the end, thanks to another piece of rope with a noose tied to the branch of a tree on the other side, and soon enough they were all on the other side, except for Bombur and Dwalin, the last ones to come.

They had almost joined the others when, out of nowhere came a great white doe running in their direction. It must have been in a terrible state of panic, for instead of going right or left to avoid them, it continued straight ahead, jumping across the river right next to where their boat was. Dwalin, who had just come down, had to quickly step away to avoid the terrified animal, and he almost slipped in the muddy bank. Fili, who was _certainly not_ watching the warrior at that moment, saw it all happening and had the reflex of grabbing the other dwarf by his belt to pull him away from the dark waters.

As it happened, he pulled a little too hard and they both lost their balance. Dwalin was heavy as he fell onto the prince, and for a few seconds Fili lost his breath. As soon as he regained it, he sniggered.

“What's so funny, lad?”

“Nothing. Just. You'd better move, and fast, or people will _talk_ , you know?”

He expected Dwalin to get angry, or at least annoyed at such a tasteless joke, especially considering their history. He _hoped_ Dwalin would get angry or annoyed or just do _something_ , anything, because after nearly a month of silence and blank looks, any reaction at all would have been an improvement.

He was not prepared for the expression on Dwalin's face. It looked like remorse and regret and pain. Except it couldn't be, because Dwalin _hated_ him, didn't he?

Fili didn't have to ponder that problem, though, because someone suddenly yelled that Bombur was _drowning_ , and the mystery that was Dwalin would have to wait.

Nori was the quickest to throw a rope to the drowning dwarf, but it too most of the company to bring the large dwarf back on the ground. They were all relieved to discover that Bombur still lived, but he was fast asleep, and there was no saying if he'd woke up soon, or at all.

When he noticed that, on top of it all, they had lost the boat which had floated away, Fili felt submerged by despair.

There was no going back now.

They were trapped in the forest, and for good.


	20. the death of hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things had been bad before.  
> They still managed to get worse.

Bombur falling into the river had been bad.

Everything that happened after was worse.

They were trapped, and the food ran low. They had to take turn carrying Bombur, though they were exhausted, and felt like they barely had the energy to carry themselves. Once, as a joke, Gloin has suggested that they left their cook behind. Nori and Bofur had been forced to prevent Bifur from jumping at his throat.

No one had tried to joke again after that.

Nothing could improve their moods. Even when the trees around them started changing, becoming less wild, their only worry was about the eerie laughters they could hear sometimes and the hauntingly beautiful music that sometimes came their ears.

Their hopes dropped even lower when they sent Bilbo to climb up a tree, and he told them that the forest went on and on forever, like an endless green sea in which they were lost.

It was that night where the last of their food was eaten.

It was also the night where Bombur awoke again, but that brought them little joy, since the only thing he could think of was to go to sleep again, hoping to escape their hopeless situation in the dreams of feasts and joy he'd had since the river.

Fili wondered how long they had before they all died of starvation. Dwarves could survive a while without food, but water was another matter; Bilbo would be the first to go, probably. It was a wonder he'd lasted that much, unused as he was to such a rough life and to privations. Hobbits were apparently a stronger breed than they appeared to be. He's still die, though. They all would. It was hopeless.

They all knew it, too. When they started walking the following morning, everyone had given up on hiding, it seemed. Ori and Kili were side by side, their hands brushing often, while Bilbo remained close to Bofur, trying his best to maintain a conversation. Dori pretended to not notice his youngest brother's choice, and walked next to Nori, who seemed determined to help Bombur to keep walking, with some help from Bifur. Gloin and Oin were together, as were Dwalin and Balin.

Fili was stuck with Thorin as a walking companion.

It would not have been his first choice, if a choice he'd had, though he suspected that his uncle wasn't much happier. Things hadn't improved between them since what had happened at Beorn's, and even now that they knew the end was coming, they still did not talk. Fili was still furious that his uncle had somehow managed to separate him from the dwarf he loved (and while he was angry at _Dwalin_ too for the whole thing, it was nothing compared to his wrath toward Thorin) whereas Thorin himself kept acting as if everything was normal and he'd only done the only possible thing to do.

 _Self-satisfied bastard_ was the kindest thing Fili thought about him these days.

The worse were things he'd never repeat to anyone.

 

* * *

 

In retrospect, following the lights had been a terrible idea, and Fili rather wished they hadn't done that.

He also wished that, after falling asleep the first time they'd tried to join the elves' banquet, they'd given it up as a bad idea.

Instead of which they tried not just once again, but two other times.

Though if he were very honest, Fili had to admit he was impressed by his uncle's self-control the second time, and his willingness to go in the elves' circle even though king Thranduil was there. That he was ready to beg to someone he considered an enemy of the dwarves showed how desperate they all were.

Never mind that it didn't work, that they all ended with ashes and cinders in their eyes and that, as they tried to get away from that, they were ambushed by...

Something.

Fili didn't know what, didn't see the things coming. He only heard hissing and creaking around him and above him. The last thing he remembered was being stabbed in the back, and the feeling of a cold fire spreading all over his body, starting from that wound. He yelled, probably, and heard the others scream and fight back before he slipped into darkness.

* * *

 

He woke up sick and suffocating, something sticky clinging to him and preventing him from moving. He didn't know how long he remained like that, until a blade came to cut the stuff and free him.

A blade held by Bilbo.

And Gandalf had thought the hobbit would be the one needing protecting.

It took Fili a couple minutes to get a grasp of himself and to breathe normally again, but before long, Bilbo was urging him to hurry and to help him free the others before the spiders came back. Fili almost laughed at him, until he noticed the fear in the little one's eyes. He chose not to make any comment, and to start freeing the rest of the company. It wasn't a nice task at all, since he felt weak from the poison and from hunger, and the bits of spider web clinging to his beard and moustache kept getting caught in everything until he had enough of his and used a knife against most of the stuff. It hurt his pride to lose the two braids in his moustache and to butcher some of his hair, but there was no other way around it.

Almost half of the company was still hanging from branches when Fili noticed great hairy spiders coming their way, and Bilbo, again, took things in his own hands. Fili and him quickly freed the rest of them, then Bilbo jumped down and started attacking the spiders, soon followed by all of the dwarves, even those who were barely in a state to fight. They all did their best to destroy the foul creatures, but the spiders were in greater number than them, and they would have soon been overcome if Bilbo hadn't managed to lead the monsters away, giving them a chance to escape.

Fili swore to himself he'd never again think ill of any hobbit.

 

* * *

 

It was only when they were all safe again that Thorin's absence was noticed.

* * *

 

Bilbo had just finished telling them the truth of his escape from the goblins, and they'd all been tired and thinking of nothing but sleep when Dwalin had noted their king's absence.

For a split second, Fili had felt angry that, of course _Dwalin_ would be the one to see that, but that jealousy was soon drowned in his worry for his uncle.

None of them could remember having seen him when they had been surrounded by the spiders, nor had they so much as heard his voice since the moment when he had tried to approach the elves. Whether he had been left behind or eaten by the spiders before Bilbo could come to their rescue, they did not know. For all his earlier anger at him, Fili desperately hoped that Thorin was well, that he was unharmed, that he'd somehow found his way to safety.

But the true horror of the situation only hit him when Balin asked him what they should do next.

“After all lad, with your uncle gone, you are now chief of this expedition.”

“Me? Why me?”

“You know perfectly well why! You are his heir, and in his absence, it is now your task to guide us. So what are your orders, my prince?”

“I am not... I won't give orders! We are in no state to receive orders anyway. We need sleep, that's all we need and... and that's an _opinion_ , not an order!”

“Same difference,” Bofur teased, “a prince's opinion is better than a law, isn't it? And what ye want, we'll all want.”

The others would protest, of course. They had to protest, Fili thought. He was one of the youngest, and he had no experience of anything, no claim to leadership beyond the fact that he was born from his mother.

But they all seemed to agree with what Balin and Bofur had said, and they were looking at him, as if they expected him to snap his fingers and make everything right again, even though he felt as weak and hopeless and tired as any of them.

Fili wondered if that was what it was like for Thorin all the time.

That could have explained his charming character.

Except it didn't, because Thorin was confident and in control, all the time, whereas Fili _wasn't_.

“We need to sleep,” he repeated, hoping he didn't sound too overbearing. “And that's still an opinion, not an order, so if anyone disagrees or has a better idea to suggest, they should speak. Really. I'm serious.”

“No, sleep is all we can do for now,” Balin agreed. “And with some luck, things won't seem too dark come morning.”

They all laid down on the fallen leaves after that, all but Fili who sat against a tree. If anyone noticed, no one commented on it, as they had never commented on any of the queer things Thorin did, as if just to remark on his strange behaviour might have been a treason. Or maybe they just thought he was keeping watch, as was his duty, now that their lives depended on him.

He hated it.

He wasn't made to be king, wasn't made to give orders, wasn't made to be anything but Fili, plain old Fili, who fought fairly well, played the violin and was in love with a dwarf who didn't want him. It was already hard enough just being him, really. Having to be a prince, really be one and act as one, was the last thing he'd ever wanted in his life.

Being prince of a bunch of dwarf who were going to die of thirst within a few days made it all worse. He could not save them. Even Thorin would not have been able to save them, and he was a good king, even if he was sometimes a terrible dwarf. Or maybe Thorin could have managed it, because he'd done the impossible more than once, but Fili _couldn't_.

“Ye're thinking too loud,” Dwalin said next to him, making him jumped. He hadn't even noticed that the warrior had come to sit by him.

“What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to want nothing to do with me?”

“We're going to die,” the older dwarf replied, as if it explained anything.

It did.

Fili felt tired, and weak, and young, too young for all of this. Even knowing it was a bad idea, he found himself leaning against Dwalin. To his surprise, the other dwarf didn't push him away, but instead put an arm around his shoulder to pull him closer.

“Did you ever think it would end like this?” Fili mumbled.

“The spiders were a surprise,” Dwalin admitted. “But I've always thought I'd die surrounded by friends, and doing something bloody stupid, yes.”

Fili snorted. “It was a stupid idea, coming all this way, not knowing what was waiting for us... I can't believe uncle convinced any of us to do it. But he... that's how he is, of course. He's an ass, but people still want to follow him, to the end of the world... that's how a king should be.”

Dwalin nodded, his hand playing with the tip of the prince's now butchered hair.

“D'you think he's alive?” Fili asked, almost whimpering. He was with Dwalin, he was _safe_. He could afford to be afraid and weak in Dwalin's arms.

“As alive as any of us, and probably wondering how he managed to get lost this time. Now stop thinking, lad, and try to get some rest. Ye need it.”

“Not tired,” Fili protested.

But as soon as he closed his eyes, he started falling asleep.

He could afford it.

He was with Dwalin.

He was safe.

And he hoped he would remain so for ever, even if it meant never waking up again.

 

* * *

 

Of course, a bunch of elves had to ruin it all, coming at dawn to arrest them all and to drag them to their king.

Fili wasn't sure if he was upset at them been caught like that, or glad that the elves would probably feed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am ever so sorry for the long delay for this chapter.  
> I do not like Mirkwood. having to re-read these part of the story was very much not nice at all, and it took me a while to find out how to write this.  
> I hope you'll find it worth the wait!


	21. I won't say I'm in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo is 100000% done with all these dwarves, even if he likes them a lot.  
> Some more than others.  
> Denial is a powerful thing.

Dwarves were a nice bunch, they really were, and Bilbo had learnt to enjoy their company over the past few weeks, he really had.

They were also idiots, the whole lot of them.

It had been two weeks since the elves had found them in the forest. Two weeks of Bilbo hiding in Thranduil's dungeons. Two weeks of him passing messages from one dwarf to the other, of giving news to those who dared not try to talk.

And they all thought they were so bloody _discreet_.

He appreciated that Ori and Kili had given up on trying to hide, at least when they were dealing with him. They were young and foolish, but at least they were _honest_. And they trusted him, which he found rather pleasing, to be honest, though he could have lived without having to pass love poems between them. Ori was very good at writing adventures and describing dramatic events, but he was an awful poet, and Kili... well. The things that boy did to words really didn't deserve the name of poetry at all.

A little less open were Nori and Bombur, though why they bothered to hide, Bilbo couldn't tell for sure. To be honest, he wasn't convinced that they had noticed themselves what was going on between them, though they were constantly asking after each other (when they were done worrying about their respective families) and passing terrible jokes about the elves.

Bilbo had expected it from Nori, but he'd never thought that Bombur, who seemed like such a nice and shy and polite dwarf to make such crude comments. And he felt fairly sure that even his most innocents messages must have had some hidden meaning in dwarven culture, because Nori tended to laugh at things that weren't funny at all to him. But at least, it kept them in good humour, and as far as the hobbit was concerned, that was what really mattered.

He wasn't sure about Dori and Balin. Now these two _were_ discreet. So discreet that Bilbo wasn't entirely sure there was anything going on between them.

But if the dwarves were allowed to speculate on everyone's love life, then so was he.

And speaking of speculation, there was of course the problem of Dwalin and Fili.

He had half a mind of giving up on trying to understand what was going on with these two. They had ignored each other for the very first part of the journey, then flirted shamelessly for weeks. Then there had been the whole... incident at Beorn's, after which they had stopped talking, yes, but they certainly hadn't stopped looking. It had been almost embarrassing, honestly, the way each stared at the other when they thought no one was watching them. Bilbo had really believed that they would remain like that until the end, stubbornly refusing to get together as they so obviously wished to.

He had almost shouted in joy when he found them sleeping together the morning after the spiders.

He would have, really, if not for the elves all around them.

It still gave him hope for the future, though.

A hope that died once he found Fili's cell.

Bilbo had a certain admiration for Fili, who had many of his uncle's qualities, and few of his faults. He also liked to think of the dwarf as a good friend, now that they were no longer sending one another after trolls in the night. Fili had done his best to help him with the... delicate situation with Thorin ( _whom he wasn't in love with, thank you very much, not at all, stop implying things_ ) and he'd been globally and very nice person to be around.

But when Bilbo found him, nearly a week after they had all arrived in the elves' underground domain, Fili had seemed. Well. In a rather distressed mood, really. The lad seemed half convinced that it was his fault that they had been captured, because he should have stayed awake and watch for danger (stupid idea, in Bilbo's opinion. They'd never have been able to resist anyway) and while it had probably saved them all from a slow, painful death, now that he was properly fed again, the prince seemed to feel bad about the whole thing.

“Uncle wouldn't have let something like this happen,” he told Bilbo. “He'd never have allowed for us to be at the mercy of elves.”

“Last we saw him he was ready to beg them for food, you know.”

“He'd never have allowed us to be imprisoned, though.”

“Well, he did get lost and left us to fend for ourselves, you know. You've done the best you could.”

“Yeah, and the best wasn't _enough_.”

Bilbo had wanted to protests, but the sounds of elves coming had made him run away and quickly put on his ring.

 

* * *

 

“Lad's just under a bit of pressure,” Bofur said when Bilbo told him of that conversation. “Ye 'n' me, we can't know what it's like, being responsible for everyone's lives. And if Mahal's good, we'll never have to know that. Must be awful, and him so young and all, but that's what he gets fer being a blue blood.”

“So you think it is _normal_ that he should put himself in such a state?”

Bofur, who was a much cleverer dwarf than he sometimes looked, immediately noticed that the tone of Bilbo had changed, and that an affirmative answer would be a terrible idea.

“I don't think it's normal, love, but that's the way it is. Thorin'd be the one like that, if he were alive, and now that he's dead, his boy has to take care of th'job.”

Bilbo glared at him.

“He's not dead.”

“What?”

“Thorin. He's not dead. One way or another, he's alive somewhere, and probably trying to figure out where we are. He's not _dead_.”

Bofur glared back.

“Ye're awful sure of it, Mr Baggins,” he grumbled. “What, is there some link 'tween the two of ye that lets ye know he's still alive? Or is it just ye hope for it?”

“Oh, come on, not that _again_ ,” Bilbo sighed. “How many times do I have to say that I do not love Thorin, have never loved Thorin, and that I am unlikely to ever love him? I will admit that I have a certain admiration for him...” Bofur snorted at that, which the hobbit chose to ignore “...but that is all there is between us. Admiration. I mean, of course, there's been his whole idea of courting, but I believe it was just... an impulsive idea spurned by my defending him against that orc.”

Bofur didn't look convinced.

Bilbo didn't feel convinced, but he'd decided long ago that if he repeated it often enough, it would somehow become the truth, and he'd stop... feeling whatever it was he was feeling for Thorin.

It couldn't be love, anyway, since he was in love with Bofur, who was kind and caring and nice, and no one could be in love with two people at once.

At least, no one that he had ever heard of, and he'd heard all the gossips of the Shire, thank you very much.

“Dwarves don't do that on an impulse,” Bofur noted. “And Thorin wouldn't be the sort to take that sort of decision rashly.”

“Well, he still did,” Bilbo insisted. “And even if he didn't, I do not care. I happen to love you, you old jealous idiot of a dwarf, though sometimes I wonder why.”

“Get in my cell and I'll remind ye why. Ye'd have to be quiet, though. Can't have the elves hearing us, eh?”

“Oh, shush you!” Bilbo ordered, smiling and blushing awfully.

 

* * *

 

It took him nearly another two weeks to discover that Thorin was indeed alive, and a prisoner of the elves, just like them.

And that reunion didn't go exactly the way he'd planned.

Not that he'd thought about it.

Much.

 

* * *

 

Thorin was kept away in a different part of the dungeons than the rest of the dwarves, in a cell that seemed significantly more comfortable than the others. Bilbo took it to mean that Thranduil knew who he was dealing with, though why the elven king had such a large prison in his palace, he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

But that mattered little at the moment, compared to the fact that Thorin was alive and unharmed. And looking more depressed than Bilbo had ever seen him. Fili had seemed almost happy compared to _that_.

Barely taking the time to make sure that there were no elves around, Bilbo had ran to the king's cell, quickly removing his ring and pressing his head against the bars of the cell.

“Thorin!” he whispered urgently.

The king, who sat with his back turned to the corridor, didn't react.

“Thorin! I'm here!”

“Go away!” the dwarf growled. “I'm not in the mood for this!”

“Like I care about your mood!” Bilbo hissed, annoyed by that strange reaction. “I did not take the trouble of finding you only to have you go all... all broody on me! I am here, and you are going to look at me, Thorin Oakenshield, or I swear I'll find something to throw at you!”

And that, at least, go him a reaction. Thorin turned his way to glare at him, then stood up and walked toward the bars.

“I've said I wasn't in the mood for this!” he shouted, slipping his hands through the bars to push Bilbo away, but jumping in surprise as soon as he touched the hobbit.

“You're _real_ ,” he mumbled, looking astonished. “You're _here_!”

“Of course I'm here, you silly dwarf!”Bilbo grumbled. “Where else would I be?”

“You weren't real the other times.”

Bilbo felt his heart clench.

It suddenly occurred to him that, if they had all been rather depressed because they were trapped and had lost one member, it must have been much worse for Thorin, who had lost all of them when they were all under his responsibility.

“We'll, I'm really here this time,” he claimed, trying to sound cheerful. “We all are, in fact. Every single one of us, alive and well. The others are prisoners of the elves of course, but they're alive, and they've been fed and treated well. The elves even took care of those who had suffered too badly from the poison. See? You may not like them, but they're not so bad at all.”

“Poison? What _poison_?”

After quickly checking that there were no elves coming, Bilbo started telling the king of everything that had happened after they had lost him. At first horrified by his description of the spiders, Thorin soon looked at the hobbit with open admiration. It felt rather nice, if Bilbo said it himself. After their difficult beginnings, and all the tension that there had been between them after the dwarf's offer of courtship, it was good to prove Thorin again that he wasn't a mere grocer, but really a full member of the company.

“Mister Baggins, you are a true wonder,” the dwarf king claimed once he had finished his tale. “And I will never apologize enough for the harsh words I've had for you in the past.”

“Well, you can always say sorry one more time, I won't mind. And really, I just did what anyone would have done, nothing more.”

“You underestimate yourself, mister Baggins,” Thorin claimed, slipping a hand through the bars to caress his cheek. “They are few those who have the courage you've shown since you left your house, and fewer yet would have dared what you dared against those spiders.”

“It was nothing,” Bilbo insisted, feeling himself flush. “I was just lucky.”

“Luck is a talent too, and a precious thing to have. But not all those who have it also have the brain to use it well, and most waste it in idle things. You do not. Your good luck as always been used for everyone's good, and that shows intelligence, and a noble heart. That is worth any treasure in the world.”

Bilbo was blushing. He was sure he was blushing. He had to be blushing.

He didn't really care, as long as Thorin remained so... strangely kind. It was a very nice change from his usual more... _dwarvish_ personality.

It was probably just something in the elves' food, but it was still nice.

“You're making fun of me,” he still complained, having nothing else to say. “And after I went to all this trouble to find you, too.”

“I am immensely glad of your efforts,” Thorin protested with a weak smile that had Bilbo melting. “I felt I was going mad here, and you gave me hope again. I do not know what I would have done if you had not come today. I had started considering telling Thranduil everything he wanted to know. I thought I had lost you all.”

Without thinking of it, Bilbo took a step closer, resting his forehead against the cold iron bars. Thorin looked so sad and relieved all at once, and it made the hobbit want to hold him in his arms to protect him against the world.

“I thought I had lost you,” Thorin continued, one of his hands on the back of Bilbo's neck. “And this, after with the fear of my nephews' deaths, was the most terrible thing I could think of. I dare not think what I would have done if I had been presented with proofs that you no longer lived.”

“You'd have called me an idiot for dying, probably,” the hobbit mumbled, suddenly aware of how close their faces were.

Thorin chucked, and Bilbo felt a shiver ran through his spine.

“I'd certainly say something of the sort, yes,” the king admitted, before moving to catch Bilbo's lips.

It was a rather awkward kiss, all things considered. Doing that between the bars of a cell was not an experience Bilbo would recommend to anyone, but at the same time, he didn't care about how uncomfortable it all was. He was too busy kissing Thorin Bloody Oakenshield to care about anything in the world. It felt strange and perfect all at once, entirely unlike kissing a hobbit of course, but rather different from having Bofur too.

Bofur.

At the though of the dwarf _who was actually his lover and whom he actually loved, Bofur, not Thorin, never Thorin_ , Bilbo pulled away, almost tripping himself as he did so.

“Bilbo?” the dwarf before him called, looking worried. “Are you well?”

“I'm in love with Bofur!” the hobbit squealed in answer. “I am sorry. I am ever so sorry. You are a very nice dwarf, and I like you very much, but I am in love with Bofur, and he loves me too, and we're very happy, and I can never be with you. I... I'd better go now. I need to tell the others that you are well! They will be so happy to hear it, they all feared something had happened. Fili in particular will be relieved, poor boy! You can't do that again, we need you alive you know, we all do, and I'll go now, and I'm so sorry, and I'll try to come again and bring you news of everyone as soon as I can!”

And putting on his ring again, he ran away before Thorin could react.

 

* * *

 

The first thing he did after he had calmed down was to tell Bofur had happened.

It hurt to see how little his dwarf was surprised by the news, but at least the toy-maker didn't seem _angry_ , and that was something, wasn't it?

“I'll never do it again!” Bilbo promised. “It was just a sudden impulse, and he looked so terribly miserable, I just... lost control. It'll never happen again. I love you and only _you_ , you know that, don't you?”

Bofur smiled, but didn't answer.

And that hurt the worst of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's still so much left to happen, but i feel like this fic is FINALLY starting to move èwé  
> Poor Bilbo  
> D-E-N-I-A-L


	22. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they get away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG DELAY ON THIS PLEASE FORGIVE ME!  
> I was blocked because there were a few plot points that didn't work anymore with how the fic had gone, and I couldn't figure out how to make it better...  
> Until this morning.  
> So, er... sorry this was so long in the coming... and sorry this isn't a very good chapter... I just really needed to get it out of the way for fear I might get blocked again...

             

Fili was not brooding, not at all.

He was.

Being thoughtful.

There was a great difference between the two. He would have been hard pressed to explain what that difference was, but it would probably have been something along the lines of 'Uncle brooded, I think'.

In the end, it didn't matter much, since it still meant that he wasn't paying enough attention to his surroundings, and didn't notice Bilbo until the hobbit shouted his name quite loudly, in spite of the risk of attracting elves. Not that the point eared bastards would have seen him anyway, not with that strange little ring of his.

“Hello master Baggins,” he greeted the empty air before him. “What news do you bring today? Is everyone doing okay?”

“You seem in a terrible good mood today, Fili.”

“That is because I am. I have realized that we are likely to spend the rest of our lives trapped here, and so we might as well smile and accept our fate.”

“You are just as dramatic as your uncle! Who is alive, as it happens.”

“So you keep saying. Hope is very nice, master Baggins, but...”

Fili heard an exasperated sigh, and it was only too easy to imagine Bilbo's all-dwarves-are-idiot face.

“Hope has nothing to do with it! He's alive, I saw him, he's a prisoner like us. The elves captured him after the last time we interrupted one of their feasts, and they've had him ever since. He's had a rough time though, he thought we were all dead. He's given me orders for all of us, and...”

The young prince didn't listen. At the news that his uncle was alive, he had leaped in joy, and it took all of his self control not to start dancing out of sheer joy. Thorin lived. It was the best news he'd heard since... well, since they had lost Thorin, really. His uncle might have been a kill joy, and a horrible dwarf on occasions, and he had separated him from the one he loved, but he was still his uncle, the dwarf who had helped raising him and who had always been there for him, or as much as he could at least.

And he wasn't dead.

Fili felt like he could have cried from joy.

“Is he well? How did the elves treat him? Do they know who he is? Does he have enough to eat? Damn, of course the elves know who he is, Thranduil and him have met often enough when he still lived in Erebor... What are his orders, what should we do?”

Bilbo chuckled, and again, Fili could easily visualize his expression. The hobbit always looked the same when he thought Fili or his brother were acting cute.

“Your uncle doesn't want us to tell the elf king about our mission, and he seemed rather proud of you for ensuring the secret was kept so far. You did well, my boy.”

Fili did not flush in pleasure at these words. He simply didn't.

“Yes, well, I did what he would have done. What else did he say?”

There was a moment of silence. “We didn't have much time to talk,” Bilbo admitted, sounding embarrassed. “I... was forced to leave rather quickly. So I suppose we should continue as we have, and I will see with Nori if he has any ideas about how to get thirteen dwarves out of here. He is supposed to be a master at escaping, I think it's time to see if he was just boasting or if there was any truth in his words. I shall get you all out of here, my prince!”

He sounded so sure of himself that Fili couldn't help a laugh. After days, weeks without hope of any sort, it felt as if things were moving again. And all because they'd found Thorin again.

“I'm really glad that knowing my uncle lives put you in such a great mood,” the prince said. “You'd been rather grim lately, to be honest, but you're sounding like your old self again now.”

There was another moment of silence then, longer than the first, and Fili wondered if the hobbit was still there. It was rather embarrassing, but it had happened once before: he'd been talking about some thing or other, and he had not realized that Bilbo had gone until two guards had asked him who he was talking to.

The elves now thought him mad, but he'd decided it was probably just as well, since it meant they wouldn't be too suspicious if they ever arrived before Bilbo had gone.

“Still here, mister Baggins?”

“Yes,” the hobbit answered, rather dryly. “I'll have you know I do not like your insinuations, though.”

“My what?”

“My good mood has nothing to do with your uncle. I'm just. I'm a hobbit. We smile in the face of adversity, and we try to make the best out of any situation, that is all. I'm not at all cheerful just because I've seen Thorin again!”

“I didn't mean...”

“You know, I'm getting quite tired of everyone's belief that I am in love with Thorin,” Bilbo grunted. “I do not. I really do not! You of all people should know that I love Bofur, and we are terribly happy, or we would be if we weren't stuck in this blasted prison, so I would appreciate if you stopped implying things!”

“I wasn't...”

“Now, if you don't mind, I'll let you have fun with all your speculations about my love life, and I will do something actually useful and try to figure out how to get us out of here, thank you.”

The dwarf prince was too flabbergasted to protest. He had not tried to imply anything, he really hadn't. He hadn't even known there was anything to be implied anymore. He'd reached the point where he felt that Bilbo deserved to be left alone about his crush on Thorin because mentioning it all the time probably didn't help the hobbit to get over it.

He hadn't really expected Bilbo to have been so hurt by all the teasing they did, really.

And the hobbit really was angry, because Fili heard him stomp as he walked away, and hearing a hobbit move was never a good sign. He would have to apologize next time, then.

* * *

 

Except he wasn’t given the occasion for it. Bilbo didn’t come of an entire week after that. Fili almost feared that the hobbit had been caught. The only thing that could make him worry less about his friend was that the elves hadn’t said a word about it, not even when they tried to interrogate him to know why his companions and him were there.

Then again, they hadn’t said a word about Thorin either, so it might not have meant much.

But as it turned out, Bilbo had not been captured. Instead, he’d spent the week closely observing the captain of the guards, whose key he had stolen and which he was now using to free the entire company.

Fili barely had the time to rejoice about finally being on the other side of these bars before his uncle grabbed him and hugged him.

Thorin.

Was hugging him.

Making demonstrations of affections.

In front of half the company.

Mahal, the last few weeks had to have been rough on him.

“You did well in my absence, Fili,” the king claimed. “I am proud of you.”

It was ridiculous, really, how pleased the prince felt at these words, but he didn’t care. Thorin was proud. After weeks of tensions between them, Thorin was proud, and he said it aloud, and that was a peace offering if Fili had ever seen one. Almost dying in a forest had its good sides, it seemed.

“I had missed you, uncle. Try not to disappear like that again, I’m not too impatient to get your job.”

“Very touching reunion,” Bilbo grumbled next to them, “but we still have a few people to get out of their cells, and I don’t know if you’ve heard, but sometimes there are elves in these parts, so how about we keep all the touching apologies for later, hm?”

He was right of course, and they soon started moving again, freeing their last companions, one after the other, before going them to the elvenking’s cellar where Bilbo announced that he was going to put them inside barrels and let them float down to Esgaroth.

To say that the dwarves protested loudly would have been an understatement. Few of them even knew how to swim, and it wouldn’t have helped them much when stuck in a barrel anyway. But when Bilbo very politely offered to take them all back to their cells, they were forced to agree.

It was their only chance, after all, and trusting the hobbit had always worked rather well so far, Fili thought as he helped convince the more doubtful members of the Company. He trusted the halfing, and if Bilbo said it could work, then it certainly would.


	23. Laketown is such a nice place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laketown is nice, Ori and Kili decide something, and Fili is a very happy dwarf

Fili hated apples. And barrels. And rivers. And hobbits.

 _Particularly_ hobbits. Sneaky, awful little things that they were, with their stupid brilliant escape plans.

The fact that it worked didn’t excuse anything at all. He was still furious and ready to murder Bilbo should he see him... until he heard Thorin grumble at their burglar, and the hobbit’s less than pleased answer. He suddenly felt a good deal less inclined to complain. They were after all alive and mostly well. Some of them had half drowned, yes, but they were getting better, and anyway Fili suspected that Ori was just using it as an excuse to have Kili fuss over him. Fili wished he could have done the same to Dwalin, who’d breathed more water than air during their little trip, but it didn’t feel like a wise course of action. He wasn’t sure if their sleeping in each other’s arms still meant something now that they were no longer dying, and even if it did, he dared not go near the warrior, not with his uncle around.

Still, the princes were the ones in the best shape, and as such had no choice but to follow their uncle and Bilbo into town, letting Bofur and Bifur take care of the rest of the company.

It was... strangely easy, in the end, to convince the Men that they really were the heirs of Thrain, returning to their homeland. Or it would have been suspiciously easy, if Fili hadn’t been starving while the Master of the town was having a feast. He cared for nothing but food, and while his uncle was busy having an argument with the Master of Esgaroth and a couple elves, the young prince and his brother discreetly started taking food, just in case they had to run away in the end. They also did stuff themselves a fair bit, but they wouldn’t talk about that if they had to go back to their companions.

It wasn’t needed, in the end. The Master of the town made the princes sit beside him, and sent some of his men with Thorin to fetch the rest of the company, clearly intending to treat them as great guests.

It felt good to be free, well fed, and to have plenty of alcohol.

It felt very good, and Fili thought he could get used to it very easily, if he had to.

* * *

  
  


It felt a little less good the following morning when he woke up with a raging hangover very much like the one he’d had at Beorn’s.

Waking up to find Ori next to him made it worse.

Thank the Maker, Kili was there too, and Ori was clutching at him rather than at Fili, but that was still a pretty awful way to awake. Still, just in case, he turned to see if there wasn’t someone for him too in that bed... but no. Kili was the only lucky one, as always. Stupid brother and his stupid husband, and Mahal but Fili hoped they hadn’t done anything while in the same bed as him.

He lay there a moment, wondering if he should try to get up and find some water to drink, until Kili turned his way, still holding a deeply asleep Ori in his arms.

“We’re going to tell them,” the younger prince announced. “About the marriage. We talked last night and... it’s only fair, you know? They deserve to know.”

“Who does ‘they’ include?”

“His brothers, and uncle. I think Dori and Nori already know anyway, they’re just pretending they don’t... not so sure about uncle. He tried again to say last night that you and Ori would look good together.”

Fili sniggered. “So this is less about doing the right thing, and more about you being annoyed that someone is trying to set me up with your boyfriend.”

“Husband. And, well, you can’t blame me for that, can you?”

“Suppose I can’t. Who are you telling first?”

“His brothers. All they can do is kill me if they’re not happy, and if they’re okay... we might need their help with Thorin. And, er...” Kili hesitated a moment and looked away. “Would you... would you be okay with being there when we tell them? Only, you’re my witness... and we’re going to ask Balin and Dwalin too. To show we did this as properly as we could, you know?”

Fili nodded. The idea of facing Dori and Nori didn’t thrill him, but he’d have done worse things for his brother.

“There just one condition,” he stated. “And that’s non-negotiable.”

“What’s that?” Kili asked with a worried frown.

“I don’t ever want the two of you in my damn bed again. _Ever_.”

Kili laughed. “I think we can manage that, yeah. And... thanks. For. You know. Everything?”

“Any time, Kee. Any time.”

* * *

  
  


It wasn’t quite as bad as he had feared, talking to Dori and Nori. Of course, it helped that Balin did most of the talking, helped here and there by Ori who quite fiercely made it clear that he was telling them a number of facts about his love life rather than asking for permission of any sort.

Fili was starting to really like his brother in law.

Not that Dori and Nori didn't make a scene of it, of course. Dori sighed and cried at his brother's lost innocence, and how he had been most shamefully seduced by a prince who hadn't even had the courage of properly asking for his hand... which would have sounded a lot more threatening if behind him, Nori hadn't been rolling his eyes and grimacing as if he couldn't believe he was related to such a dreadfully bad actor.

Nori himself was much better at it, of course. All he did was to take out a knife, and give it to Kili.

“Thanks?” the prince said, looking very unsure. “That's, uh, that's a nice present, and...”

“If you ever hurt Ori,” Nori replied with a polite smile, “I will use this knife to cut your stones, as well as all your fingers and toes. Maybe your nose and ears, too. And if I'm feeling very merciful, I'll then kill you, still with that knife. You may keep it or throw it away, but if I need to, you can be sure that I will find it, and I will use it. Are we clear, princeling?”

Kili paled and nodded quickly, his hand clutching at the weapon while Ori punched his brother in the shoulder for being so suspicious and threatening. And really, Fili was almost sure that Nori didn't really mean it.

Or if he meant it, he was almost sure that Nori knew that Kili would never hurt Ori. 

Never intentionally.

Maybe he'd have to get his hands on that knife, and have it melted. Just in case.

Still, in the end, all was well and nice. Except for the fact that Dori and Nori felt it might be better to not tell Thorin _just_ yet.

“He's got enough on his mind, between the mountain and his thing with the hobbit,” Nori stated. “Did you see Bofur and Bilbo last night? They're not even hiding anymore. Doubt your uncle likes it too much, and I have no idea how he'll react to this. Not one for surprises, Thorin, and he might feel a bit betrayed that his best friend married his nephew without asking his permission, don't you think?”

Balin smiled and shrugged. “I saw no point asking for it. Young love and all that. I've always been a great romantic. And they would have had a nice time in Beorn's stables anyway, so I thought they might as well do it with a semblance of propriety... and I had to act quick. As I've said, young love...”

Both boys turned bright red, and Fili coughed loudly, as did Dori. There were things the prince didn't want to know anything about, and his brother's sex life was of these.

“We won't tell Thorin then,” Fili decided. “Not until we have Erebor again. He'll probably be in a much better mood once he's King under the Mountain for real, and something like that might amuse him... a bit of romance always makes for a good tale, and that's one story people will tell for centuries.”

“If we survive,” Nori pointed out.

“Yes, yes, _if we survive_. Aren't you quite the little ray of sunshine. Well, I don't know about you, but I fully intend to survive another few hundred years, dragon or not dragon. And no, we're _not_ betting on how long I'll live.”

“You're no fun,” Nori sighed. “Well, that's it then, I don't think we need any of you anymore, do we? You lot can bugger off.”

They made for the door, but Balin stopped them, taking a piece of parchment out of his pocket.

“Not so fast! There's a few things in the contract I'd like to see with the love birds, and with you too,” the old dwarf explained, turning to Dori and Nori. “It's nothing too important, but better safe than sorry. See, it's this bit here...”

Fili hesitated, wondering if he should stay and help his brother with whatever was going on, but he forgot all about it when Dwalin took his hand and dragged him outside while everyone was distracted.

That alone would have been quite nice, but then the warrior pushed him against the nearest wall to kiss him, and that _very_ nice. It was everything their kisses at Beorn's had been, the same passion burning through them, but more caution maybe, and after a short moment Dwalin stopped abruptly, as if he'd heard a noise. It turned out to have been nothing, but the tall dwarf still thought it more prudent to go somewhere else, so they found themselves a more private corridor to hide in and kiss some more.

“Still think we're going to die, I take it?” Fili asked breathlessly after a while.

“Everyone dies sooner or later,” Dwalin replied. “Might be sooner for us, yes, and I've lost enough time already. I want you. If you still want me, you can have me. How does that sound?”

“Good.”

More than good, it sounded perfect, it sounded like everything Fili had ever wanted. And yet...

“What about Thorin though?”

“He can't know,” Dwalin firmly stated. “You can tell your brother, and I might tell Ori, because they've proven then can keep a secret when they want, but that's it. This has to remain a secret. Just you and me. Can you do that?”

“Mahal yes. I can do that. I can do anything you want, but I can very easily promise that I won't tell Thorin... or Balin, especially after... what did they even tell you that day?”

Dwalin tensed against him. “That... is a story for another day. When there's time, and we're all at peace, I'll tell you. Not today. Today, I just want you.”

“Oh Mahal please, yes,” Fili all but whimpered, kissing him again. “There are so many rooms in this house, let's pick one and not leave it until we've got to walk to that bloody mountain.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Dwalin agreed, smirking and dragging him away once more, this time in quest of a room where no one would hear them.


	24. a time for fun and conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Dwalin are happy. There is a discussion about gravy.  
> Bilbo has a cold, and hates the entire world.

They did eventually leave their room, much to their regret, because neither of them had thought of taking anything to drink or eat... unlike Bilbo and Bofur, since they were among the ones missing at dinner that night.

 

Count on hobbits to never forget food.

 

Not that their hobbit and his boyfriend were the only one not there. Thorin too was absent, having been invited for a talk by the Master of Esgaroth... he had apparently left alone, furious to have found neither of his nephews to come with him, since Ori and Kili had most mysteriously disappeared too.

 

How mysterious.

 

Fili was quite glad that his uncle wasn’t there, though. There had been a slight improvement of their relation after leaving the elves’ dungeon, but the prince wasn’t sure he could face him at the moment, not after the _delightful_ day he’d had with Dwalin. He wasn’t sure he could have hidden how happy he was that finally, things were the way he’d always known they were supposed to be.

 

And he wasn’t sure everyone else could have refrained from sniggering and making jokes at him and Dwalin. Clearly, everyone knew how they had spent their day, and among all the laughing there was talk of debts and of bets won. Mostly, these bets had been won by Nori.

 

Fili really needed to talk to him about the whole betting thing.

 

But he’d have to talk to him later, because for now there was the matter of Balin to settle.

 

Balin who seemed entirely unamused by the situation.

 

It seemed his tolerance for the passions of young love stopped as soon as his brother was concerned, but Dwalin didn’t seem too impressed.

 

“I’m hungry,” the warrior grumbled at his brother. “You let me eat first, and then we’ll talk.”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about. You know what I think about it.”

 

“You’ve made it clear, yes,” Dwalin grunted, taking Fili’s hand in his. “We’ll _still_ talk about it.”

 

And that was it for the time being. Both brother remained rather tense during the rest of the meal, and left together once they were done eating. Fili got up from his chair, ready to follow them, but Dwalin shook his head at him, and he sat back down. He wasn’t nervous. Not at all. It wasn’t as if last time Balin and Dwalin had talked like that, Fili had ended with his heart broken. And he trusted Dwalin, anyway. The warrior had said that he wouldn’t change his mind, had said that he was sure of himself this time around, that he had no doubt that this was the right thing to do, and yet... Dwalin respected his brother, and Fili felt sure that there was nothing he wouldn’t do if Balin told him it was right.

 

“It’ll be fine,” Nori told him, passing him a small pie. “You’ve got to trust your dwarf, lad.”

 

“I would find your interest _so_ touching if I weren’t half certain that you just don’t want to lose your bets.”

 

“You wound me. Can’t I just honestly like you and want you to be happy?”

 

“I might have believed it if you hadn’t used the word ‘honestly’, which I’m surprised you even know.”

 

Nori sighed dramatically. “That hurts you know, that you can’t trust me. I’m trying hard to be a good dwarf, to mend my ways and be an honourable and faithful companion, and that’s how your reward my efforts?”

 

Fili sniggered, and the thief made a theatrically pained face.

 

“He does have a few bets on whether or not things will work for you,” Bombur informed the prince. “But he only bets on things he wants to happen... and _knows_ will happen. He’s just a romantic, in his own way.”

 

“You’re ruining my reputation,” Nori complained, though without heat. “Keep doing that, and I’ll go tell people you can’t cook gravy pie.”

 

“There’s a difference between can’t and won’t. Gravy pie isn’t real cooking.”

 

“It is real food, it’s delicious, and you’re not an actual proper cook if you can’t make it.”

 

That sparked a bit of a debate at the table, with Fili and Gloin siding with Nori about gravy as a food on its own right, while Dori, Oin and Bifur agreed with Bombur when he claimed that it could never be more than _part_ of an actual dish. They were still arguing by the time Dwalin came back in, alone. Fili’s tension came back at once, but the warrior just sat again next to him, taking his hand once more and once it was clear that nothing bad had happened, the debate started again.

 

Dwalin agreed that gravy counted as food.

 

Fili _knew_ he loved him for a reason.

 

They were a little more clever this time around when they disappeared again, taking a good reserve of cakes and pies with them, as well as a few fruits and some wine.

 

That last part Fili had his doubts about, because he wasn’t sure how much he enjoyed waking up with a hangover, so just in case, he’d filled a jug of water. As Balin often said, learning from one’s mistakes was the mark of a great king.

 

He would certainly be glad to know that his lessons were well remembered and well used.

 

Or maybe not so glad, since Fili was, after all, using said lessons to shag Balin’s little brother, but that was a detail, really.

 

* * *

  


 

Bilbo hated Laketown. It was a dreadful, horrible place full of horrible things that he hated, and he wished that he’d never had set a foot in it.

 

The fact that he had what was probably the worse cold of his entire life didn’t help. It was so unfair that he was sick. He didn’t want to be sick. He wanted to eat (which he couldn’t because his stomach was all upset) and cuddle with Bofur (which he actually did anyway, because his dwarf claimed that he was immune to colds) and just relax and enjoy himself, something he hadn’t been able to do since Rivendell.

 

He hated being sick.

 

He hated that everyone else was having fun (Ori and Kili had made things half official, Bofur had told him, with only Thorin still in the dark, and Dwalin and Fili had been nowhere to be seen, though when they had finally popped up to grab some food, they had both said something about sword training that had convinced no one)

 

He hated Bofur for taking such wonderful care of him and being so damn bloody perfect when he was in no state to show how much he loved him for it.

 

He hated everything ever.

 

It took _days_ for his cold to subside. The human doctor who’d seen him (Bofur had panicked a little one night when Bilbo had ended up coughing so much he could hardly breathe anymore) told him he’d made a swift recovery, and that hobbits seemed more resilient than he’d have expected, but Bilbo still felt that he had been sick for far longer than he should have.

 

After all, this damn town was his last chance to make a few nice memories before they all went to attack a dragon (or in his case, _steal_ from it, which hardly seemed a better idea). And he wanted good memories of Bofur, because he had a very bad feeling about this blasted mountain. Bofur said it was only his cold talking, and that all would be fine, but Bilbo wasn’t so sure.

 

Nothing they’d done so far had ever gone the way it was supposed to go after all. He didn’t see why this should be any different.

 

“Ye’re becoming almost as gloomy as Dori,” Bofur teased one afternoon, when his cold had finally almost gone, and they could properly lie in bed and cuddle at last.

 

Or maybe _more_ than cuddle, maybe, but that was no one’s business.

 

“I am not gloomy, I am realistic,” Bilbo corrected. “Someone has to be. All of you dwarves do nothing but sing as if the mountain is yours again, and everyone is indulging themselves as if we don’t have a worry in the world.”

 

“Didn’t seem to be so angry at people who indulge just five minutes ago...”

 

The hobbit silenced him with a small tap on his head. “This is entirely different.”

 

“Course it is,” Bofur laughed. “And ye’re not gloomy.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Just broody.”

 

“I’m not!” Bilbo exclaimed as he sat up. “I am not broody at all. Being broody is... it’s very different.”

 

“Sure is.”

 

“I am rational and responsible. If you want someone broody, look at Thorin, not at me.”

 

He instantly regretted those words as he felt Bofur tense against him. They had both done a very good job of not saying anything about Thorin lately, not since Bilbo had confessed to having kissed him in the elves dungeons. He had also done a fairly good job of avoiding Thorin entirely, which had probably helped a lot. Bofur could hardly be jealous if the hobbit was making such great efforts to never talk or be near the king, could he?

 

“Ye know, I’ve been thinking,” Bofur started, pulling the hobbit back down to his arms.

 

“That doesn’t sound good.”

 

“Depends what ye call good. Been thinking about ye and Thorin, specifically.”

 

“That really doesn’t sound good,” Bilbo muttered. “I’ve told you, what happened then was just...”

 

“Yes, yes, ‘we were both worried and stuff, doesn’t mean a thing’,” Bofur cut him, mimicking Bilbo’s voice. “I’m touched ye’re trying to be nice to me and everything, but that’s a big pile of shit, and ye know it. Ye’ve got a thing for Thorin, and he’s got one for ye, that’s a fact. And I think I’m okay with that.”

 

There was a moment of silence.

 

“You’re _what_?”

 

“He’s a bit of an ass,” Bofur explained, looking away. “But he’s an ass that’s classy, and he’s got that thing where even if ye know he can be bloody awful, ye still want to follow him across Middle Earth. Can’t blame ye for falling for it, not when I’m here too, ye know? And, well. He’s got nice eyes and a pretty bottom, I sort of get the attraction”

 

“What are you trying to say, exactly? That we should invite him in our bed?”

 

“That’s the short of it, yes.”

 

There was another silence, longer this time.

 

Bilbo was sure he had never been more embarrassed in his life, not even when he’d been a tween and had shaved the hair of his feet while drunk. This, this was so much worse than anything else in his life. He knew he ought to have been ashamed of himself, for having driven his lover, his dwarf lover, to think that he had to accept a lover in their bed. Dwarves didn’t share, Bilbo knew that, everyone knew that. Dwarves were greedy and possessive... not that Bofur had ever been either things, nor anyone else in the company for that matter (well, Nori was a little greedy maybe, and Gloin, but Bilbo suspected they actually like the game of earning gold more than gold itself).

 

But still, dwarves didn’t share, not their lovers. Bilbo knew that. He’d read about dwarves, once. A fascinating book that his mother had brought back from one of her adventures when she was young. Dwarves believed in having just one person meant for them the way hobbits believed in having five meals a day: reality might work otherwise for some people, but no one wanted to think about it because that was what felt right and good and _normal_.

 

And Bofur was ready to renounce that normalcy just because Bilbo couldn’t get rid of a ridiculous little crush.

 

He couldn’t decide what was stronger, the sudden wave of sheer love it made him feel for his dwarf, or the equally powerful shame at the way he must have hurt said dwarf.

 

“Ye’re thinking stupid stuff again, aren’t ye?” Bofur sighed.

 

“I’m thinking you shouldn’t have to even think of doing that for my sake,” Bilbo mumbled. “But I swear Bofur, it’s... whatever is the matter with Thorin, it’s very different from... from what’s between us.”

 

The dwarf nodded. “That’s why I’m fine with it,” he explained. “Couldn’t find dwarves more different than me and good old Thorin, right? So I figured, ye just like us both for different reasons, so there’s no need for me to worry if ye want both of us, right? He’s not going to replace me or anything. For one thing, he doesn’t even know what a joke is, so that’s it, I’m safe. Ye’re still gonna need me to make ya laugh!”

 

And indeed, Bilbo sniggered before kissing him.

 

“You’re quite mad,” he announced, “and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Fine, so you... made a fair point. And I... I’ll admit that I rather... I rather like Thorin, in spite of him being... well, _Thorin_. But that’s the problem, he is Thorin. You might be willing to share, I don’t think he’d ever be...”

 

“Only one way to know.”

 

“Really? And what is tha.... Where are you going? BOFUR YOU CAN’T GO SEE HIM LIKE THIS YOU’RE NAKED!”

 

The dwarf stopped, his hand on the door, and looked down, as if he’d forgotten it.

 

“Oh. Ye’re right. I’m naked. Where are my clothes?”

 

“Why would I know?”

 

“Ye’re the one who removed them and threw them away,” Bofur reminded him. “Logically, ye should be the one ta know where they’ve gone.”

 

It was, indeed, a good argument, but Bilbo refused to admit it,and instead went in search of his own clothes. After all, there was no way he would let Bofur face Thorin alone. No matter what the king’s answer would be, he wanted to be there to hear it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger  
> MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
> Will Thorin accept to have to very sexy and willing men in his bed?  
> We'll find out at the next chapter


End file.
